Hostages

Sometimes we try to hold onto or manufacture a relationship for reasons that are all about ourself.  These relationships end in disaster sooner or later.  Good relationships are mutual and quite selfless.  Such a relationship helps us to grow beyond our own needs, to consider the needs of others.  Some relationships are over or are unhealthy and we are the last to know.  We don't pick up the signals.  We hold on or manufacture a bond because we are needy, or trying to fix ourself through the other person, or feel incomplete without "someone" else in my life.  If this is you, a sane person will leave you.  But if you both are needy, self-fixing through the other, or feeling a scary incompleteness, the relationship might carry on miserably, but carry on nonetheless.  I have  seen people in recovery programs, working on other issues, who have discovered they were or had been in such dead end relationships.  I hope that my God belief is not hanging on for merely self-serving motives.  That would not be love.