Silence

 Silence is not a virtue if love demands that we speak.  Sometimes I think that I will say nothing to someone about a situation as an act of acceptance, when in fact it is just a form of cowardice or accommodation to bad behavior.  What if a parent said nothing to their child, thinking, “Let it go and just get along.”  So you want to just get along with what is developing into a monster?  Or you see someone who drinks too much and you say nothing, as in “not my problem.”  It is not my job to change someone, but it might be my job to speak up in some way that might make someone question themselves.  Yes, people get defensive if we tell them they are wrong, and maybe we are in fact making judgment, or we might be wrong.  So what I do is ask a question such as, “I notice that...I am a curious why you do that or do that in that manner?”  Or, “Do you ever think of the effect you might have on others when you behave in that manner?“  Or, “I feel...when you do that.”  What I am trying to do is engage someone and this might take some courage.  Maybe I will learn something by keeping a connection with a person.  I learn nothing by silence or acceptance in the area of their puzzling behavior.  Or just kick butt.