The Walk

 Early in the morning at the monastery after I sit in quiet meditation, I go out for a walk on our road.  On one side of the road is a hill with various bushes and trees, different colors budding forth depending on the season.  The occasional deer eat breakfast there too.  On the other side of the road is the ranch field which in season is all green with cattle grazing.  In the winter, all is white snow covered.  I call it my walk in the “chapel of nature.”  Often it is a prayerful time of musing on the divine presence as I clap or wave to whatever flower has just come forth.  There is an early morning scent to all this, before the sunshine comes and lifts it away.  See if you can find your own chapel of nature wherever you are.  And don’t walk so fast that you miss something.  It is not about aerobics, but about transformation.  Happy trails!

Shift

What is a Higher Power?  Think of it as a power shift, as in a gear box on a car.  All your life you want to go forward, but your gear shift is in neutral, or more likely reverse.  Step one, you finally notice this.  Step two, you take action and move the gear shift into Drive or Forward.  You are carried forward instantly, a little, slowly, on the correct gear shift.  This will at least keep you from going backward, for a while,  But then the vehicle will stop because you are doing nothing more, no foot on the gas peddle.  You have the right idea, but you must cooperate with the gear shift and press the gas peddle.  This is "taking action."   Each day, I recognize, or try to, that I will not go forward, grow, without my higher power, or gear shift connected to forward.  To be really good at spiritual growth would be like being on the upslope of Gough Street in San Francisco coming up from Cow Hollow, in a VW stick shift car.  You come to a stop light.  If you can get into the forward gear without stalling and then moving up the hill, you are an expert.  My first experiences of this were a disaster.  Boy did I need a drink after that!  Oops! Said too much.  

Lifer

Someone reminded me that I do not want to be a "First Step Lifer."  What is that?  Well, it is someone who admits that they have a problem.  That is the first step.  Then they do nothing about it.  They know they have a problem with gambling.  Then they go to Vegas.  They are addicted to gambling, know it, and go where they will be sorely tempted to gamble.  I have a problem, an addiction.  ME.  Yes, I am the problem.  Unless I have a plan, soon after waking up, to deal with ME, I will make me the focus of my day. I will be all about 'more" of whatever it is that I think will make me happy.  Anything or anyone is significant, for the moment, if it will serve ME.  The antidote is to take time out each day, and begin very early, to see how detached I am from this addiction to ME.  Am I in touch with resources to keep me balanced?  Am I of service to others?  What is my attitude when plans don't work out?  Am I judgmental, or accepting?  Am I listening or preoccupied with ME?  Am I compassionate or indifferent?  Before I knew that I was the problem, I used to just feel "unfulfilled" and the world around me was the problem.  So I guess I am making a little progress.  I have moved beyond a "First Step Life."  

Idealist

 I remember when I used to sit alone looking out a window with a beer can in my hand thinking about saving the world.  What has changed now is that I can go for a walk and think about changing the world.  Of course, change would be about making the world what I want it to be which would be perfect for me.  I might call it fantasy living, but someone had a sharper name for it, one that woke me up.  It is called being a "BANKRUPT IDEALIST."  Drinking beers and thinking about the ideal life is one clear way of not having enough of anything but grandiosity!  Strong on grandiose and weak on action, and spiritual resources.  I am weak on action because I have never developed the resources to do any of these ideals I think about.  It is like someone who thinks of spending a lot of capital to fix what is broken, but cannot even pay their current bills.  When the idealism includes grandiosity it dreams not of just doing great things but of becoming famous, loved, important.  So you see why I must practice a quiet time each day in solitude.  Sanity is slippery and light.  Insanity is sticky and heavy, hard to be rid of.  For those bloggers who would like to have an advanced spiritual guru, you are on the wrong site.  I think I may have been too honest?

Idling

 Someone said that they can go from zero to  hundred in a few seconds when it comes to the emotional life.  I think they were referring to fear.  Then someone else said that they idle at 75.  Ooops, that is me!  I don't know what zero is.  I meditate sometimes to get below 75.  Is there good news in this?  Yes, because at least I know myself better and can realize the value of doing things, such as meditate, walk, so as not to get all revved up.  I have seen people go from zero to a hundred quickly, as in talking the subject  of politics and religion. So I think that if I can stay at 75 or lower, I might avoid the heart attack a little longer and enjoy life a little more.  What is your idle?  

The Moth

 It seems that moths are drawn to fires, to light of some kind.  As someone said, this is a great metaphor for the spiritual life of transformation.  “Become fire,” as the desert monk would say.  All this is about letting go of yourself as you have become, as a reflection of the culture and group surroundings that so influence you.  Become who you were meant to be.  The moth is annihilated in the fire.  Ouch.  This is the way of contemplative prayer, with its emphasis on silence and solitude.  There is something within me that no cultural stuff, or things, can fulfill.  The love of another person, music, art, literature, nature scenes might point to this something within, but not completely fill it.  The creative side of the artist, the lover, can touch on it. Whatever this “It” is, calls us to a moments of a more singular sitting in silence and solitude each day.  I am the moth called to the flame of Love.  

Judgments

 When I judge someone harshly, as in they are a complete mess, I am ignoring their gifts.  I am shutting out a part of them from my view and focusing only on what I see as the mess.  When I can see that they have some gifts too, then my judgment begins to lose some of its energy and its power to keep me in a negative frame of mind.  As it has been said, "Why am I letting someone live rent free in my head, and emotional life?"  Often, I have found that what I see as negative is something that presses a button in me from a past life experience.  Someone does not say hello to me as they pass me, nor gives me a smile.  Ah!  Abandonment issues!  And so it goes.  So today, with the help of a Power greater than me, I will let people be, and judge them not.  

Window

 Look at a solid wall.  No light gets through, but the wall may give your privacy, keep out the cold, wind and pollen.  But there is no light.  Now make a space, a hole in the wall, such that you could put in a window. Now there is light.  Light comes through the empty space.  Insects, pollen, wind may come in too but you are so happy with the light that you don’t mind.  Deep prayer is like this.  It makes space just by resting in the moment and not becoming distracted by things about you.  Light appears in the space.  It is not so much light as in bright, since eyes may be closed.  Rather it is light as in seeing with an Inner Eye.  Nothing else seems to bother you at that moment.  This kind of prayer can lead you to then go through your day or the next few hours, unaffected by what otherwise were distractions. They have nothing to hang onto.  You are free.  

Too Many And Too Few

 There is a saying, "Two many years, not enough days."  It is an addiction and recovery maxim.  I use it for my time here in the monastery.  People tend to ask me how long I have been here or how long do I intend to stay.  Length of time is of not much importance.  What is important is what am I doing with each day during that time.  So my answer is. " I am here for today."  This keeps me in the NOW.  What am I doing with this day in terms of my spiritual life, growth, effort?  I don't want to be just going through the motions, the routines, so as to escape from the world.  Surrender is not escape.  How am I surrendering my will and my life to this Power, Energy, Reality who I call God, today?  The important question is not how long you have been without a drink, or how long you have been married, or how old are you, but what are you doing with each day?  Life is a gift that allow me to do the work to make it a full life, or as some say, living the true self.  

It Is

 So you sit down to “meditate” according to some spiritual program.  Plus you have your method of meditating.  Your goal is in mind.  You will feel better, more peaceful, and then have more patience with others.  You will be “nice.”  But then come all these distractions, discomfort, noise inside your head or around you. What a mess!  Not really.  Are you not trying to connect with some Power, God, Ultimate Reality?  Your goal, your expected results from your prayer, was your program for happiness.  Maybe the will of this Power is for all these “distractions” to happen.  That is the Power’s way of getting in touch with you at this moment.  Why?  For humility.  So that you let go of control, impatience, self-pity and a need to be in charge of your spiritual path.  Accept that this is the prayer for now. Distractions.  You are plenty close to God.  You showed up.  Methods are not for control, not if God is real.  

Good And Bad

 I try not to have absolutes about what is good and what is bad, because often the good and bad switch depending on the situation.  For instance, it is going to rain.  You remember rain?  Anyhow, I want to go outdoors for a bit and I want to avoid the rain.  It is a decision, at that moment, to say that avoiding the rain is good, or not having rain get me all wet is good for my chore.  But to say that rain is absolutely bad is wrong.  We need rain.  Also, if I don’t judge the rain at all, then I go about my tasks, excursions, and worry not about becoming soaked.  Wear proper clothing.  Or pick another time to do roofing.  Next example: a person you say is bad as in always bad for you.  Then some time later, you meet the same person and that person does not seem “bad.”  So they are not absolutely bad, just not good for you in a present situation that is in flux.  Maybe they just found the cure for cancer!  Situations change.  So much of life is in flux so I try not to make absolute statements.  

Shoe Fits

 When the shoe fits you forget the foot.  This is a Tao saying and we know it to be true.  I had skin surgery to the side of my foot back in January.  While it was healing, ever so slowly, whatever footwear I tried, I always thought about the foot because the shoe and the dressing/bandage/wound rubbed against one another.  Finally, I healed enough that I could actually put on a footwear, and voila!  I did not think about my foot.  Prayer is like having the shoe that fits.  There is a prayer, where, I don’t even think about partying.  Meditation is good, but it is not Tao.  In meditation I am self-conscious of meditating, or method, even when I am not focused on thoughts. I have a goal when meditating.  But the deepest prayer is when I drop the goal, such as good or bad and end up going about my day in prayer but not thinking about praying.  Yes, this is rare, but it is non-judgmental, without a goal.  And I seem to have a balance beyond good and bad.  

Nothing

 If you ever say or feel that you are nothing, this might be a good thing.  Now some people would counsel you to be rid of such thoughts, and reflect that you are special and worth much.  I am speaking about the spiritual plane.  When you say that you are nothing, or feel this way, you may very well be close to God even though you may not believe or experience a God.  Why?  Well,  The nearer God’s Light is to you, the less you see of it.  This pure light you cannot see or feel, makes you sense your smallness or nothingness.  Think of being near something very large.  You experience your own smallness pronounced. To a baby, most things are huge.  So maybe when you say “I am nothing” it might be an invitation to faith.  Plus, it is best to be helpful to others when you feel like nothing.  God is at work.  

Being Yourself

 When you have a deep longing for God you tend to forget yourself, so I have heard.  Occasionally, it has happened to me.  It is like disappearing from my own sight.  And in this depth you become most yourself.  But suppose you don’t have much faith in a God or prayer?  There are still quite spiritual times when you do forget yourself and become most who you really are.  The constant focus on self is a false self, someone you try to be for others or cobbled together by culture and upbringing or just a lot of bad habits.  But think for a moment when you are completely absorbed in doing something so much so that you are not thinking about you.  That is when your true self shines, and though you feel the energy you do not so much “view it.”  When you do something you don’t like to do you are absorbed in the the resentment, self-pity, injustice of it all.  You are focused upon your false self and its misery.  But when absorbed in something that is really you, such self-centered focus disappears.  Doing a work that you love, making love to someone you deeply love, watching a beautiful nature scene, walking in a wood and seeing flowers suddenly appear, the mid-point of a really good run, you are not focused upon you doing it.  You are absorbed in the event.  These are God-moments, even to one who says they have no faith.  

Escape

The monastery, the spiritual life, is not for escape from the world.  I am in the world.  The contemplative life in or out of a monastery is to become detached from manners, attitudes, ways that are unhelpful to a fullness of life in the world.  Just because I am in a monastery does not mean I am unconnected.  But it does mean that I wrestle with things of the world that are destructive.  Like what?  Try selfishness, self-centered fear, being judgmental, bondage to self that creates a me who is not really me, the need to look good, to possess what in fact I don't need, seeking happiness in things, stuff, the need for control.  God may not want me or you, for that matter, to be a contemplative, but for sure, the world is not interested in you becoming who you were made to be.  So, everyday I wrestle with motives, feelings, attitudes, that I have come to see as useless for me and the world.  It is hard work and a bit of backsliding.  Since it is so hard to stay on track there are always diversions to be found.  But the gift of the monastery is that it is harder here to stay off track for long.  

Unforgetable

 Have you ever been in a relationship that came to an end for one reason or another, and then you did not see the person for a long time?  My fantasy or hope, is that when I see them again, I would say, "Do you remember me?"  And they, instead of saying, "No," or "Vaguely," or "Not really," would say, "You are a little hard to forget."  I don't want to be forgotten, but I live in a monastery, and that is not good for being remembered.  In a monastery, I am even supposed to forget myself, which has not yet happened.  In a few days I am going to Boulder, Colorado to teach.  50 people used to show up in the past, but my fear is that it will be me, the wonderful women who make the coffee and treats, and maybe 10 people.  Father Forgotten.  Now if my ego were not fragile, I might be OK with this.  If I were a spiritual giant I would be detached from fame and fortune.  But the good news is that those ten people are going to get a really good talk, from the heart.  Then I will go back to the monastery and oblivion.  But God is full of surprises, and so maybe someone will say, "You are a little hard to forget."  Maybe God is saying it right now!  

Awareness

 What if God wanted to come and see the world and listen to the world.  I would think this a good thing.  But what if God chose to see the world through my eyes and listen to it through my ears?  This wakes me up to realize that I don’t want to get in God’s way with my own static of fear, judgments and resentments. In case God wants to use me to connect with the world I had better ask myself how I am seeing and hearing.  Do I see only what I want to see?  Do I miss seeing a lot in the present moment because I am lost in fantasy, worry, or planning for the future?  Am I filling my ears with lots of noise to distract me from being quiet and open to silence?  A lot to think about should God want to use me.  Or maybe God wants to use you.  

Chaos

 I try not to let stress and chaos rule my life.  I can be busy doing things, but if it is who I am then there is less stress and chaos.  If I try to do things to please others, not being me, but who someone else wants me to be then stress and chaos follows.  I am denying who I am.  Example:  this morning I baked loaves of homemade bread and cooked our midday dinner of fish and such.  Busy yes, but not stressful, because it is me the baker and the fish maker.  I am of service doing what I like to do and do well.  Now when I try to be someone else, doing something for someone so that they will like me, or get off my back, or out of guilt, then there is usually stress and chaos.  Think about doing what you love that is within your possibilities.  I would love to run a sub 4:00 minute mile but that is not possible.  No doubt there are situations in which you do for others that is not really you, and it will be stressful. But if I try to minimize those situations, and focus on what “gives me life,”. I find I am in the good zone.  Being busy is not my problem.  Trying to be who I am not is my problem.  

Me

 Sometimes I have said that, “everything in my life is going wrong.”  I want to blame people, places, situations, timing, and even the weather.  What I really ought to say, upon reflection is that everything that went wrong was not part of my plans.  “Wrong” means that my plans are not working out.  But there is more.  If I take an inventory of all these ‘wrong” happenings, I find that there is one common denominator in every situation.  ME.  I am present at work, home, shopping, driving, socializing, and just taking a walk.  So maybe I might be part of the problem?  And the problem with me is so often attitude.  I respond to all of the above with negativity and no gratitude.  Stuff happens.  My plans are simply my plans and no one else’s.  So I try to align myself each day with a Power, my God, who has my back.  This calls for trust on my part.  Life has limitations.  I try to work within them and leave the rest up to God.  

Friends

 We tend to be who we hang out with.  We tend to be like our companions. If I hang out in a bar drinking with people I call friends, we are the same in that we are all bar drinker companions.  Think of your social life, your church, your club associations.  Did you not participate because you felt them to be like you or you wished to be like them?  But I have found exceptions in great wisdom figures, spiritually evolved people, who call “friends” those who are quite different from them.  Jesus of Nazareth would be one example.  He called “friends” people who were liars, cowards, betrayers, prostitutes and tax-collector extortionists.  He saw something in them they did not see in themselves.  He had love and compassion, which gave him patience and acceptance.  I have seen it in people recovering from addiction who help one another though they are otherwise very different.  A common suffering bonded them.  So if I want to expand my spiritual life, I need to hang out with people not like me and for the right reasons, non-selfish ones.  

Sober Bottom

Whatever is a "sober bottom?"  I have heard people say that they hit their bottom.  Usually, the blame can be placed upon some other thing, such as drugs, alcohol, food, pornography, sex.  Or it can be placed upon another person, relationship, job, or job loss, financial poverty.  Always it is something other than themselves to blame.  A sober bottom is when you have let go of something, but your life has once again become a mess.  This is when you cannot blame something or someone.  You are the problem, and simply giving up something or someone is not the entire solution.  Maybe you are beginning to doubt the God or Power that you thought had been on your side.  For me, a sober bottom is one where I can still have faith, because I believe that my God removed something, in order to open me to something better.  This transition is painful.  Maybe I had slacked off the spiritual work, and so now I must realize the penalty for that.  I am either going forward or going backward and downward to yet another bottom.   

Stability

 Homily Notes

July 11, 2021

Fr. Terry Ryan, CSP

Feast of St. Benedict

Proverbs, 2:1-9, Colossians 3:12-17, Mt. 19: 27-29

Today is the Feast of St. Benedict, founder of the Benedictine Rule by which the Cistercians live here at St. Benedict’s Monastery.  Benedict’s Rule and way of life taught me something after yesterday’s debacle and seemingly total failure.  My zoom director/technician and I thought up the idea of teaching outdoors in person to the local residents of our area and zoom it as well.  We had lots of homemade treats and drinks.  I expected at least forty people would show up on our beautiful front lawn, Aspen and flowers in full bloom.  I got all dressed up in my teaching best.  Only two people showed up.  I gave the talk anyway, thinking that it would be available as a recording, as well as those watching on zoom, as I spoke.  I did not know until after the talk that the technology  failed to connect.  So there was no zoom talk and no recording, as of this moment.  

I thought afterwards that I have no friends, but the two who showed up.  I received no contributions which means Debtor’s Prison down the road.  I was a failure, with a growing resentment list of all who no-showed.  Pack my bags and move on.  But then I realized that we would have all these delicious treats for the Feast of St. Benedict.  And since no one heard the talk, but the two who showed up, I could use this talk at some point down he road.  

I was still feeling a lot of self-pity when I went out that evening before going to bed.  I saw our yellow rose bush.  It had past its peak, but there were a few beautiful flowers budding.  Then it hit me.  Stability.  Benedict talks about stability, staying in one place and making it your home.  The rose bush, most of the year is just a bush, ignored by most people, unnoticed and unspectacular.  It only blossoms flowers for a short period this time of year up here.  But all that time that the bush does not have flowers, it is ignored, and unspectacular, yet it is working on its underground root strength and nourishment.  The rose bush does not move.  It does not try to be something it is not, such as a tall pine tree.  It has stability.  A monk has routines, not ruts.  A rut closes one off from change and growth.  Routines allow us to live without a lot of drama.  This outward stability is to develop what Benedict calls, “Stability of the Heart.”  The Heart is the symbol of in depth prayer and connection with God, so that we continue on day by day, whether our plans work out or not.  We work on our interior spiritual roots, so we can allow grace to make us shine and blossom in due time, but not try and become a 24/7 center of attention.  

All of us have ups and downs.  Spouses die, relatives get sick and die, there is divorce, machinery breaks down, plans go haywire, but with a stability of heart we can let go a bit and let God work on our roots so that when our time comes to shine, we will shine.  Patience, acceptance and no resentment list. 

Debacle

 Yesterday was almost a complete failure.  My techie/director/producer of zoom talks, and I, thought that an in person/zoom hybrid talk on the front lawn of the monastery would draw a lot of the local people.  The flowers are in bloom, and we had our Aspen trees for some shade, homemade treats and drink refreshments.  We were ready.  Two local people showed up.  And we could not get the technology for youtube to work outside.  We just don't have the equipment capability given our limited internet wiring.  It was a wonderful talk, so said the two attendees, but almost nothing got recorded or actually transmitted to those who joined via computer.  As an Ivy League MBA graduate in marketing, I thought I knew my market.  Turns out, I have no friends, but two, in the local region.  So if I become a hermit, I won't be missed.  Plus, I have downsized my prayer list, dropping all the locals who did not come.  And since we had so many uneaten treats, the monastery has lots of sweets to celebrate the Feast of St. Benedict which is today.  And since no one heard my wonderful talk I can give it again some day on zoom, on my computer screen from my room. I won' have to get all dressed up either.  So I guess there is always a silver lining.  

Retraining

 A spiritual path can be looked at as a retraining.  We generally don’t start out on a spiritual path sufficient for ongoing good behavior.  How many people adhere to a religion, maybe attend worship services, but then gradually or quickly, move into bad behavior, addictions, and so on.  Such people, myself included, are in training, that is in a regular practice of bad behavior.  If it does not kill us first, we decide that our training program is not working in our best interests.  So we get into a retraining to recover or discover a much better lifestyle, free from a lot of our bad habits and addictive behavior.  In our new spiritual path of retraining there are always new things to learn.  So we never get to the end of retraining.  People who think they are finished retraining usually end up a mess.  My daily meditation is part of the retraining.  Then I can try to become part of the solution and not the problem.  

Communion

 Back in the day for Catholics, Holy Communion used to be a reward for being good.  Since most people were just normal, that is, bad/good, they had to go to confession first to get a bit more squeaky clean.  Nuns used to forbid girls from receiving communion as a punishment for bad behavior.  As a sign of humility, a daily communicant would skip a day here and there.  And so on.  Then along came Pius X and he nixed a lot of this.  He said we don’t go as a reward for being good, we go because we are not good and want to be better.  I think of the steps in Recovery programs.  Some people think that they did the steps and are now pretty good, so they don’t need them on a daily basis.  I think of the steps like daily communion practice.  You need the steps on a daily basis because you know that you have flaws and are not all that good, or you are pretty good and want to get better, or you are OK now but don’t want to backslide.  Cunning, baffling and powerful is that thought, “Oh, I am doing well today, I don’t need to access any Power or God.”  You have gone from bad to good, and unless you try for better, you will go back to bad.  I have found it so.  

The Tide

 My prayer life connection to God is like the tide.  It comes and goes.  But God is like the water, the ocean, always present.  If I stay in one place on the shore, I will experience presence and absence of water.  So sometimes I adjust if I want my feet to be in the water.  And sometimes I back away to stay dry.  I cannot control the tide, I can only avoid the water.  God does what God does and I do not control it.  I can only show up and see what happens.  What if my God had a rip current presence?  Go all in?  Surrender to the sacred pull.  Die to self and pop up anew?  I am not quite ready for that.  But I do try to stay near the water of God’s Presence.  

Neighbor

 You might say, “Why don’t I get out of that monastery and get into the real world where you can “love your neighbor like a good priest is supposed to do.”  Well, the problem with that, I have found, is that many of us can “love the neighbor” for a set period of time, such as a ministry or dinner party, or social gathering.  But then we go home and mumble about the person(s) with whom we live, about how messy or full of faults they are, how impossible they are to live with and so on.  I bet those people you were loving at the social or ministry event have just as many faults, but you don’t live with them or overlook them or don’t even know the faults, as they too are putting on the “love your neighbor” face and manner as well.  Here in the monastery there is no escaping the neighbor.  I live with them all day, everyday. I know their dark sides, their character defects, and I am challenged to love them, 24/7.  And if I cannot love them, it is not their fault. It is mine.  I am a work in progress, with varying degrees of success.  

The Truth

 I am not here to be a monk but rather to experience the inner truth of who I am.  It is only being me that I can have a life-transfiguring relationship with God.  In the normal, everyday world I find that I am often who someone else wants me to be for their agenda. I can give it a respectful name, pastoral ministry.  But there is something else not fed by this “pastoral” me.  Much of such ministry has so much cultural baggage.  Weddings and funerals, anniversary events, reunions are so filled with a cultural busyness.  Very little is simple, much less quiet.  Every time I would leave here would disrupt from the rhythms of a life that is quiet, still, interior and connected.  Standing in the middle of a wedding reception with a collar on, black clerical clothes can be so isolating, the conversation so forced.  I used to be good at it and so things did not seem forced or busy.  But something happened.  I hope it was an invitation from the One, to come away and BE ME.  I am finding out this is not so easy, as a lot of me is a bit of the dark side.  But this dark side known always to my God, does not prevent Love from entering in.  How many people at church events, or any event, actually let people know who they are, as if they knew themselves?  So I will be here...until I am not.  

Methods

 My problem with methods of meditation and prayer in general, is that too frequently I find myself sitting down to pray and think more about the method than the relationship with a Reality that is closer to me than I am to myself.  It might be a bit like taking classes in how to relate better to your spouse, partner, significant other, but when you get together, I would be thinking more about what I learned in class and not even listening to this person I say I love.  I would lack a simple natural presence, wherein I could use what I learned if it would be helpful.  But the point is to love rather than to focus on a practice or method or something I learned in a book or class.  So my suggestion is, have a method for when needed, but show up to prayer and see what happens.  Let the Spirit move you.  I usually find that fewer words helps me, but sometimes I got stuff to say.  Anyhow, I guess I have become a bad teacher of methods.  But I am being honest!  That must count for something.  

4th Of July

 What religion offers to culture and to a society is that we are interdependent, created by love and for love.  It gives a balance to the idea that a society is all about production and profit, security and comfort in income, power, and independence.  When we fear that there will not be enough for me and for someone else, religion can give a counter view of things.  When we say that we want a certain homogenization of society, religion counters that.  The best of religion says that all are welcome, that in sharing what seems scarce there will be enough.  Ethnicity that would diminish the “other” is not religion as I know it.  It is fear.  It is false pride.  It separates.  It lacks humility.  Our country had some religious principles in its founding and there has always been tensions, and even war, over these principles and economic interests.  So we keep working on it.  We are always a work in progress.  Unless we become oligarchies, dictatorships, or military rule.  Happy 4th!

Growth

 Did we grow, expand or deepen ourselves during Covid times?  What seems to be heard in the media is that people cannot wait to get back to work on a more full-time basis, and to get back to being entertained by sports, the arts, movies and so on.  It is as if we are only about work and being entertained.  We either make something or we consume it.  I find this a bit narrow for me.  Covid provided me a time to do a lot of reading, exploring the inner self, learning new things, or as is popularly said, “expanding my horizons.”  For me, if space is empty in my day, I don’t mind.  I can fill it with learning, reading, or simply reflecting. Empty is not always bad.  The one thing I did miss in this pandemic, is that I really did not meet any new people, in relationship.  I don’t count doctor visits in this category.  And if I can now meet new people, what is new about me worth meeting?  A good question for us all.  

Drug Induced Experience

Psychedelics may induce an experience of a different reality, but it will not induce love.  The drug will not deal with deep-seated character defects that get in the way of love and healthy relationships with the world around us.  With the drug you might experience a sense of oneness, but without inner work of a more contemplative dimension this sense of oneness will dissipate as the drug wears off.  Plus, the drug is a way of having an experience on your own terms.  A drug induce "spiritual state" is not transformation.   

No Isolation

 The Contemplative’s life is not a search for peace or some Nirvana ecstasy that excludes all outside reality, but rather a letting go of distractions, an openness to silence and solitude, in order to experience or encounter Love indwelling.  With this practice the contemplative then brings to all daily encounters, the world, if you will, an attitude of love, compassion, connection, listening and non-judgment.  The ego is still present, but it doesn’t rule or dominate encounters with others, places and situations.  Happy July!