Idealist

 I remember when I used to sit alone looking out a window with a beer can in my hand thinking about saving the world.  What has changed now is that I can go for a walk and think about changing the world.  Of course, change would be about making the world what I want it to be which would be perfect for me.  I might call it fantasy living, but someone had a sharper name for it, one that woke me up.  It is called being a "BANKRUPT IDEALIST."  Drinking beers and thinking about the ideal life is one clear way of not having enough of anything but grandiosity!  Strong on grandiose and weak on action, and spiritual resources.  I am weak on action because I have never developed the resources to do any of these ideals I think about.  It is like someone who thinks of spending a lot of capital to fix what is broken, but cannot even pay their current bills.  When the idealism includes grandiosity it dreams not of just doing great things but of becoming famous, loved, important.  So you see why I must practice a quiet time each day in solitude.  Sanity is slippery and light.  Insanity is sticky and heavy, hard to be rid of.  For those bloggers who would like to have an advanced spiritual guru, you are on the wrong site.  I think I may have been too honest?