I used to drink at people. Most of you drank with people in social occasions. Yes, I remember that too. But there were occasions when I drank “at people.” Maybe I was unhappy with people or life was not going my way. I might have a feeling of not being OK, but those around me did not help me to feel better, or they got blamed for my not feeling OK. So I drank at them. I would look around a room of people, no one of whom is making me happy. And I would have a drink, alone with others. I was lonely, but instead of having enough sanity to realize that loneliness is simply a part of life from time to time, I would try to get “feelings” to go away or change. It was all a matter of running away in place. Today, I have moments of sanity and the freedom to feel but not react in dead end ways. I think maybe this blog is too honest, so I will stop before you take me off your pedestal.
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I drank at people and situations as well and remember isolating in public. That was before I just did it at home. What a dark spiral. I'm so grateful to have been taught to feel the feelings, to know that they pass and that I can get through anything, shoulder to shoulder with my fellows. Your blog is always just what I need and I am so thankful for everything you share. Talk about waking the walk, such a gift - thank you! Hugs across the miles and wishes for a great fall day! :)
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