I used to look for happiness outside of myself. If that person or that situation or work would change to my preference/wants/desires, then I would be happy. I would look for happiness in another person, like falling in love. Or look for the right job or the right place to live. If only my team would win then I would be happy. All outside stuff and quite beyond my control. But as Kierkegaard said, “The door to happiness opens to the inside.” Maybe that is why I am at peace here in this monastery with no TV, radio, newspaper, cell phone service, and narrow internet band. All outside stuff. I awake each morning, in the middle of your night, to open the door to the inside of myself.
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I just read this and it reminds me of you, Father Ryan. :)
ReplyDeleteLearning to share my experiences with others is one of the biggest gifts I get from practicing the Steps of AA. Letting others know that they matter; that what they do matters.
And giving it away is what makes it matter.