Monday, May 30, 2011

The Ego again!

I am bemused by what concerns me at times. I am now at the monastery and doing field work, irrigating and digging ditches for water to flow. I had lots of water. The suddenly, someone diverted water from my fields, over to some other fields. I think, "What am I to do? Why is this happening to me? I cannot do my work with this small amount of water flow!"
If I were not here, I would not give too hoots about these fields. As a matter of fact, the issues that concerned me in Boulder, I give little or no thought to up here. I suspect the issue is really my ego and desire for control. This is how the quiet prayer of the heart helps me in my daily activities. I see better how much the problem of my daily concerns is really the problem of me and my need for conversion.
God is the center of my life and these other issues are really God's way of offering me a chance to look at myself and see how my happiness is misplaced. This allows for humility, laughter, and an opportunity to turn to God who is focused on me and not so much on where water is going on this ranch.