Unimportance

 I have the gift of unimportance.  No one seeks me out.  When Covid passes, I suspect it will be about the same.  I feel sorry for gurus and such people as Jesus of Nazareth.  In the Gospels, people are coming from far and wide to seek Jesus to cure them of sickness and hear him talk.  He is crushed by the crowds and has little time for himself.  I have the best of both worlds.  People say they miss me, but that does not mean they would come up here to the monastery to seek me.  They might like to see me, say hello, but in the orbit of their own everyday lives.  So be glad if you are nothing special.  God still loves you and certainly in my religion has gone way out of the divine way to let me know I am loved.  Or maybe that is the divine way.  Celebrate your gifts and talents, but don’t let pride make a drama of your life, that no one seeks you out.  Loneliness is not an absence of people.  It is feeling isolated among people.  

Save Or Destroy

Jesus of Nazareth asked, "Is it better to save life rather than to destroy it?" Faced with this question we often think of physical death and killing.  But I realize that I must fave this question each day.  How?  I can destroy someone by making a judgment about them to their face and then treating them as less than worthy of respect and attention.  A harsh word, ignoring them, asking them why they do what I consider a bad thing, and so on.  It would be easy for me to love perfect people, but I must love the people around me, and I don't always choose who they are.  If a person is having a bad day or does mess up, I can respond in a loving way rather than in a harsh fashion or reprimand or dismissal.  I try to keep this in mind when a negative energy spontaneously arises in me.  Wait.  Pause.  Let Love have a chance to get out front and then respond.  

The Steps

 Each day, early on, I must take certain steps in order for the wheels not to come off my life as I roll along.  I call it a spiritual practice.  Even my stretching, yoga is part of the steps I take in order to stay balanced in body and heart, the inner and the outer.  What might happen if I avoid all these steps?  Well, a certain discomfort will arise and build.  I will feel out of sorts, disconnected with myself, and then with the world around me.  Then soon enough, my next step might be my last.  So I tend to stay vigilant.  It is good to know your demons.  They are cunning.  Alone, I will not do well against them hiding wherever they are.  So my spiritual practice is to stay in touch with what someone called “Ultimate Reality.”  Sounds pretty powerful, so that is why I seek its help each day, early on.  

Walsh Family Players

 Years ago when I first became a priest, I was assigned to a parish in Houston, Texas.  There I met the Walsh family with their seven kids.  The children and sometimes included the parents would put on skits to entertain the adult at some social gathering.  Terry, the eldest daughter, took charge.  She directed the show.  I so remember my 25th anniversary as a priest, I went back to Houston and they put on a skit about me.  They nailed me, every flaw, idiosyncrasy, habit, and stuff I had done in their experience of my ministry and preaching and my visits to their home.  My point?  Children get us.  They may not say much at times, but they are watching and see all our habits, the good, the bad and the ugly.  But like the Walsh Family Players, children don’t judge us.  They know they are loved.  That is what they want, to be loved, feel safe, and cared for.  So parents, teachers, don’t so much worry about how you look or what mistakes you might make or silly stuff you try to hide from children.  They see.  They know.  Just love on them.  But what do I know.  I am just a single priest.  

An Impression

 A Mom once told me that her children were talking one day and out of the blue they mentioned a sermon I had given at the school mass.  The sermon was about a year and a half before their conversation.  I had done some tap dancing in church to make a point about growth in prayer.  Ok, yes, I can get weird.  But I can tap dance so why not use it.  My hope, and belief, is that children remember stories and visuals.  But I am never sure as they don’t come running up and say I did good for them.  Pastors, on the other hand, might be appalled.  None of them are clamoring for me to preach in their parishes.  So I am what you might call “unsuccessful” with the powers that be.  But back to their children talking so many months after  my tap dancing.  They still remembered and wanted more of me. They got the point of the tap dancing.  So I have great success with children, the powerless in my church.  As for the powerful, not so much.  So do what you do well, because then you will be most of service.  “Singin’ in the rain.”  Who did that famous movie dance? Who was the actress that made her movie debut at 18 in that same movie?  Quiz time my children!

The Umbrella

 I think of spiritual practices such as prayer, being of service, compassion, quiet times of silence and solitude, as like an umbrella.  The umbrella does not control the rain, but it does keep us dry, keeps the rain from soaking through our clothes and making for a really unpleasant experience.  The spiritual life does not keep outside things from happening.  It is not magic, nor a form of control.  But it does help to keep the misery that might be going on around me from making us equally as miserable.  Just because I am with unhappy people and try to be of some service to their misery, does not mean that I must be equally miserable.  You may feel their pain but there is something within you, some power, that allows you to see the light whereas they see only the darkness.  

Meaning

 Would you rather die old or young?  Sooner rather than later?  Most of us would say we would rather live a long life.  But I heard it said, “I would rather die young with a life crammed with meaning than old with a life without meaning.”  Well there you have it.  Instead of trying to hang on longer why not ask if you can cram more meaning into your life?  Does my life have meaning?  On my better days, when it is not all about me, I think it does have meaning.  Like what?  The lives I touch are better for it because of the way I am in their presence.  Now I admit I don’t touch many lives.  I live in a monastery with a few monks.  And I have a couple of blog readers.  I teach to a few on Zoom.  It is not the number of people whose life I touch or with whom I cross paths.  It is what happens when we do touch.  Judgment or acceptance?  If only one person reads this blog I want it to help that one person today to be a better person.  It is not the many things we do, but how we do them in connection with others.  Daily life is filled with significance.  Did anyone read this?

Liturgical Dance

 My friend and colleague, Fr. Tom Kane, CSP, a Paulist priest, introduced dance into the Catholic Mass and other Catholic rituals, many years ago when such things were rare.  I realize that his efforts were very Interfaith and Ecumenical, that is, reaching out to spiritual paths beyond Catholicism but connected through dance.  Now some pious Catholics were appalled at this and looked for other places to worship where things were more normal, that is, within their comfort zone.  But in fact the Catholic Church has always been a supporter of the arts, such as in classical music and painting, building design, sculpture and such.  So why not include dance?  What dance does is reach deep into the heart, as do the arts.  The heart is where we have some our best interconnections with people of other traditions because the heart is the place of spiritual experience.  Tom Kane is now wintering in Vero Beach, Florida.  If you happen to live there, say hello to him.  

The Touch

 What is it to be in touch with this Power that is deep within me?  It is to live in the ordinary experiences of the day, but to be touched with a power of significance.  The ordinary becomes highlighted with the touch of significance.  That includes me.  When I am contemplatively connected to myself, my deepest self, I no longer need others to treat me with any specialness or significance.  My ego is at rest, right-sized.  I know that I am significant because of this Power that is always indwelling but too often ignored.  Consequently, when I ignore the Power, my meditation time, I notice that it bothers me that I am ignored or feel ignored by others.  But as I am at rest, so is my ego, and peace reigns as I go about my day.  

Keep It Outside

 There is evil around us, a lot of negativity, judgments and fear.  The point of an interior spiritual practice is to not let the outside evil get inside the heart.  The spiritual practice counters the desire to “fit in,” to feel a part of.  At first, what looks like a prejudice or a outside fear will enter into us because we want to fit in.  Or we are afraid of the consequences of being an “outsider.”  Being against slavery while living in the Old South, prejudice against people who are not just like the group, Nazi persecution of Jews are things that come to mind.  There are more local things, such as bullying someone and you become part of the bully group lest they bully you.  And so it goes.  A spiritual practice always goes against he tide of negativity and separation.  I have found it so.  

Underlying Harmony

 To be all alike can be the tomb of the individual.  But to be completely separate is the tomb of community.  I like the Paulist Fathers because we have learned how to be individuals in community with an underlying harmony or unity.  We who were ordained in the 70s were all about individuality.  Yikes you should have seen my hair, and beard. I even had an Afro for a while.  Lots of us Paulists then were into our own looks and clothes and doing our “thing.”  It was the age of individualism. It did not make for good community life in a parish rectory.  But over the years we have mellowed or blended better.  We encourage a Paulist priest to develop his gifts and talents.  It is one of the reasons we recruit certain types of men.  But we also practice learning how to live, pray, share life together in a way that we give up something of ourselves to be our best selves in doing things together for the sake of a bonding.  We are like a loaf of bread that is not all the same slices, and flavor.  We are a loaf of many different flavors but still a loaf.  Someone send this to our vocation director!

Freedom?

 I recall a freedom I had many years ago that left me profoundly adrift.  I was working in Corporate business in Chicago in the latter 60s.  There was a bar on what was called the Near North Side of town.  The bar’s name was Butch McGuire’s.  I recall standing in the bar with a drink, maybe a martini, surrounded by people who did not know my name and to whom I was not accountable.  I could just walk out and no one would notice.  So I was free, but a freedom I try to avoid today.  If I belong, and people know my name then I am accountable and I support their life with my life, the best that I can be.  One must give up the anonymity of the bar freedom in order to pursue a life of commitment and community.  And I really never liked martinis.  Has anyone out there ever been to Butch’s?  Maybe we met!

Temporary

 Someone said, “I can do anything if it is just temporary.”  I find this very helpful to get me to do something.  If I think about doing something forever, or long term, it might seem so daunting that I will make an excuse to do nothing.  I can don something for today a lot easier than I can do something forever. I am much less likely to fail or become inconsistent if I do it “just for today.”   Today I will meditate.  Today, I will not eat chocolate.  OK, that is a too much.  If someone wants help I can say I will help today. Today I can be of service.  Long range I begin to develop goals or plans for how my efforts will pay off.  But if my plans don’t work then I might drop it all together.  “Just for today” has worked for me, one day at a time for a long time.  Who’d a thought!

Waiting

 One of the reasons that I “Wait in the Presence” as I sometimes call my meditation of stillness and solitude, is to recognize the silent hope that something will transpire within me to relax the hold I have on things that do not lead to peace.  Howard Thurman told me that.  So I always sit with hope no matter how the day is or has gone or how the previous mediation went.  Hope keeps me coming back.  

Valentine’s Day

 This used to be one of my unhappiest days.  If I did not have a Valentine, that special someone, I would tank and feel like a loser.  My Mom always sent me a Valentine.  And I tried to remember to send her one too.  I was a good son but not much of a boyfriend material, I guess.  Well, all that is in the past.  I feel loved today by people out there in Covid/Zoom regions.  Internet has helped.  And I feel good that I don’t have to wake up and frantically check the internet to see if I am loved.  I feel secure.  But enough about me, or there is never enough!  Whatever.  How about you today?  You are never alone.  God and my blogs are with you every day.  So on behalf of God, in case you don’t believe, I say, “I love you.”  And I say it for me to you too.  And by not sending Valentine cards you give the stressed out Post Office a chance to rest.  I am still waiting for my January copies of monthly stuff that got mailed out in December, but never showed up.  

Intention

 Do you live an intentional life, or one that serves the whims of others?  To live an intentional life I think I have to know who I am rather than who someone wants me to be for their agenda.  If I am occasionally going to live at the whim of another, it would be good for me to admit it, accept it, for the moment, but not make it a habit, or delude myself that this is the real me.  This does not include things like house chores that are part of life and few of us relish.  I mean the ways that we give in for the sake of peace, but it is not very peaceful inside the heart.  Or the way we try to make other people happy who cannot make themselves happy.  It can get tricky.  The spiritual life of quiet prayer and self-examination, in radical honesty helps me to stay the course.  

Legion

 Someplace in the Bible there is a story about this crazy person who is called “Legion,” because he has many devils in him.  Well maybe a few of us are “Legion.”  We try to be someone(s) we are not.  When you find yourself going to an event that is not really you, because you give in to some outside social pressure, you may try to “put on a face.”  You ask, “How am I suppose to be at this event?”  So you act like someone you are not.  This is one of your personas.  Again, there may be an event that speaks to who your really are, but you are in a bad mood and don’t want to go. But you go and are whiny, gossipy, opinionated  and sort of nasty.  That is not the real you.  So we all have our devils and when they rule we are as crazy as the guy in the Bible.  I need a spiritual practice to sort all this out so that I don’t go where I don’t belong or go with an “attitude.”  It works more often than not.  It is an ongoing effort.  

Value

 Who we really are, a value, is given to us when we come into this world.  It comes from that creative force, I call God.  No one can take it away from you.  You have meaning, purpose and value that is often referred to as the true self.  Now you may deny it, or someone else may treat you as if you are hardly a human person, but that does not take away your true value.  I can be, and am often ignored by others.  Or I am not asked to do things that I know I can do quite well.  Others have a different opinion of me.  But that does not lessen my value.  I don’t have to go into the tank over it, or get all upset.  They did not change me.  So I try to let go of their action  in my regards.  I just find another way to be me.  In this monastery I am plenty me, the person God made me to be.  

Active Spirituality

 Two fellows said that they need to practice “active spirituality.”  So they went out to help someone.  We often think of spirituality as that which we do when we pray or meditate.  That would be active yes, but I think of it as inactive spirituality, very important, or else you will end up going sideways when you try for active spirituality.  The word “inactive” in spirituality is not bad.  You are not doing “Nothing.”  What we need to make sure of is that we balance inactive with active.  Out of balance on either side and life gets wacky.  When I am helpful to others, cook or bake or clean up around the monastery, that is my active spirituality.  But its energy comes from the inactive siting in silence and solitude.  

Change The Violent

 If someone is being violent and I limit my effort to trying to trying to change the situation, the violent person will be unchanged.  You can arrest someone, but that does not make the person a less violent person.  So I try to act so as to make the violent person think about and face their violence.  I think that is what the great spiritual teachers did.  They try to get you to take a good look at yourself.  Buddha and Jesus did not change a violet culture, and indifferent culture.  They tried to change the person.  Keep that in mind when you are trying to do good.  If you discipline someone, say a child, do they change behavior or change rom within?  

Non-Violence

 What is the difference between violence and non-violence.  Howard Thurman has a good take on this.  The root of non-violence is reconciliation.  The non-violent person admits that there are violent people.  They want to find ways to be reconciled.  At the root of the violence is non-existence.  The violent person wants to be rid of you, get you out of their life or at least out of their way.  The violence of war is that people ar trying to kill one another.  A violent protest wants to destroy.  A non-violent protest wants to reconcile with the “other.”  So when you say, “I hate someone,” you want to be rid of them in your life.  You don’t look for a coming together to be reconciled with your differences or maybe even miscommunications.  When I say, “Hate” it is always in reference to someone or something that I want to go away.  If you say, “I hate chocolate,” then of course you are beyond hope.  But I won’t hate you.  More chocolate for me.  

Worthy

 Why is it that we seem to lean toward loving what we think is worthy or merits it?  At first, this does look good.  We say that we love the Smokey Mountains, or Grand Tetons or the Ocean beach, or chocolate.  They are sublime, attractive and thoroughly enjoyable.  But we don’t say we love the slums of a city or the   Shacks of a poor farmer.  And what to do we do with those things we think don’t merit our love?  We tend to ignore them.  And thus they stay unchanged.  

A Low Bar

 When you see someone who resists the established order, the norm of success, who maybe is considered a “drop out” don’t judge them too fast.  You might judge them as lazy, immature, escapists, but there may be another reason.  For them, the requirements of the established order may be too low, too unworthy of the highest and best in us.  I was very much the part of the established order, and wondered why I did not seem to fit in.  The requirements of a monastery may yet be too low for me.  I seem to strive for more.  Nice to know I might be on a good path yet.  

The Poor

 Why do the poor, the ignored, the economically abandoned in Central America cling to their Catholic faith, their church?  After all, the rich oligarchs who control the economy, are Catholic too and would prefer to not sit alongside smelly farmers, street venders and domestic workers with their dark Indian complexion.  Howard Thurman has a good take on why the poor cling to their religion. Christianity in the mind of Jesus was a technique of survival for the oppressed.  But over the years it became a religion of the powerful and the dominant.  Many slave owners of the South were Catholic.  Read “Gone With The Wind.”  Jesus preached that hypocrisy and hatred and fear need have no dominion over them, the poor, the outcast, the abandoned.  Pope Francis preaches this theme and many of these oligarchs think he is a Communist.  Convenient for them.  

The Isolated God

 I hear Catholics say that they find God in church when they sit in front of the tabernacle.  I guess better someplace than no place. But I find it problematic.Why?  To find God in one place, opens you to NOT finding God in other places, or else why would you have to go to church to find God?  Often, the people who go to Church have no interest in ecology.  To them it is just stuff, trees, water, air.  Some such people also look upon others, with different skin color, language, or economic status as less than or not worthy of much concern.  That is why I prefer the vision of the mystic.  They have a sense of Oneness.  God is all in all.  Julian of Norwich said as much.  “It is more worship to God to behold God in all than in any special thing.”  

5G

 The 5G phones are available as the internet has continued to upgrade and charge more for services.  Do you want to be left behind with a 4G or 3G?  For me, I feel that my use of a 5G would be to saturate me with novelty but I would not learn a whole lot that would be useful to me on my path to becoming a better person.  5G will make a difference and for some people it will be part of their job/career.  But others will get it simply because it is well, 5G.  And they will spend endless hours exploring it.  I figure that I am going to die, not knowing a lot of stuff and not having read a lot of good books.  But I sure hope I spent time getting ready for that next stage after death, should there be a next stage.  I am betting on such a stage that will be even more wonderful than 5G.  Of course, if the Angel guarding the gate is holding a 5G and checking on the latest news on Saturn, I figure I might have miscalculated.  Hope not.  

Cardboard box

 If you have a valuable treasure you should not put it into a valuable looking box that will attract someone like a thief.  Better to put it into a old cardboard box.  No one would bother with it.  So it is with people who are quite spiritually advanced.  It is a treasure, but they don't make a big deal of themselves, or call attention to themselves: "Look at how Holy I am!"  I often miss the most advanced people because they hide right before my eyes.  Religious leaders in their long dresses, or expensive suits/dresses, and their entourages, big stages call attention to themselves.  But are they holy?  I cannot judge.  I am trying to get holy hidden away in this monastery.  So far, I have only managed to be hidden away.  Oh well, one day at a time.  

Bad Priest

 A new Month! Where is my vaccine?  Oh well, on to other thoughts.  If I were a good priest you might think, I would be trying to get people to sign up, commit, join the Catholic Church.  I would be trying to get them to know the rules, rituals, and doctrine.  But alas, I am a bad priest.  I spend my time on internet trying to help people make a highway in their heart for the God I have found in my meditations.  I talk about silence and solitude.  I talk about stillness, taking time to be with oneself, absent a focus on thoughts and words.  No wonder I don’t have a job in a some parish!