Wednesday, March 22, 2017

An Egg

We are each like an egg.  C. S. Lewis helped me here.  An egg is suppose to hatch in its proper time.  If it does not hatch it rots.  If it breaks before its time, such as Humpty Dumpty, it is broken.  It cannot be fixed.  Some of us, me for sure, was once a broken egg.  I tried to hatch before my time.  I was not ready but self-will and impatience took over.  I rolled around thinking I was living life fully, when in fact I was simply rolling around.  Eventually, I broke, not in a natural fashion where I would become all I was supposed to be, but in a fallen and unnatural way.  This is the Fall.  Oh, maybe the Bible is not so off track?  I could not be put back together.  A mess is still a mess even patched together.  I needed to be remade.  I could not do this, and that is a good thing.  Left to my own devices, I was just going to be broken or a patched mess.  The solution is a spiritual one, and in my case, it is God as I seem to have discovered.  God took the best of me, my God-ness, and encircled me in a shell to incurbate.  The shell is Love.  There I waited, because self-will only ruins Love.  Eventually, in God's time, my waiting in prayer, patience, trust and hope, I broke out of the shell of protective Love, and began to live, to be this Love in my own unique way.  I start small, needing God, but trust that I will fly, even soar.  When I stay God-connected I soar best.  I am always becoming all God meant for me to be.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Mean But Not Mean

I heard something that pertains to me.  Say what you mean but don't say it meanly.  Too often I say exactly what I mean, and I say it in a snarly way that puts people down, makes fun of them, and is about my ego advancement.  In fact, silence would have been better than the manner in which I said something.  The words we use are only part of the message.  This is why I have to work so hard on being even keeled.  Keep a balance in my life.  If I feel rushed, tired, fearful, anxious or resentful, then I will say "whatever" with an attitude.  The meaning will be buried beneath the meanness.

Monday, March 20, 2017


I like this one.  There are twelve hours on a clock.  No one can skip an hour.  You cannot say you'll do something at 10 but skip 11 and just go to 12.  Even if you sleep, or sit staring at a wall, you go through hour 11.  A really useful and full life is to have something positive for each hour, such as 7+ hours of bed rest at night, or a nap in the afternoon.  Where is this all going?  It goes to recovery programs in which there are 12 steps.  You cannot skip a step or jump around.  They are sequential for a reason, just like a clock.  You skip or ignore steps at your own peril.  I have found it so.  Addicts beware!  and for the rest of you, what are you going to do for yourself that benefits a world larger than yourself after you finish reading this blog?  Deleting me is not a benefit.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

St. Joseph

In my church today is the feast day of St. Joseph.  He is the husband of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  I like St. Joseph.  He is needed by Jesus and Mary, but Joseph does not call attention to himself nor make a big deal about himself.  Also, he is at times clueless as to what is going on.  But he sleeps well anyway because he has dreams and remembers them.  So he get good REM sleep.  His life has problems, questions, difficulties, but he does not take them to bed with him.  All this I like.  I want to be needed and on days when few read my blog I wonder.  But I try not to be self-important.  Joseph is the model.  He did not need to be the center of attention.  Play you role in life, when you find it, and you will be comfortable in your own skin.  Then, it is OK not to know what is going on all the time.  You don't have to compensate by being a helicopter dad or priest or parent or lover.  I figure if I am supposed to know, I will be told somehow.  With all this, I will sleep better.  Plus, now I have a CPAP machine.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Broken Heart

When your heart is broken by love you might think it is the end of the world.  Certainly you feel very badly and may wish bad things on yourself or the one who broke your heart.  But wait.  A heart cannot be broken unless it has been taken out of its shallow world of separate self and brought into the world of the truer, and more real self that has experienced oneness.  Most of us, outside of love, go around in the world of dualism.  Everything is separate, mundane, ordinary, and unsatisfying.  There is never enough "more" to fill us up.  Then you fall in love.  Suddenly, your are surfeited with more then enough.  You experience a deeper sense of self.  You see everything as if for the first time in all their beauty.  You are happy.  Only love can do this, show you a way of seeing and being that is always possible.  Love unlocks the possible.  The broken heart means that you at least have had this wonderful experience of life in depth.  So I rejoice in the women who broke my heart.  They gave me a great gift and for a time I was enough for them.  Spiritual depth is to be in love with the world around me, to see people even as they may not see themselves.  May my actions toward and with them give them a glimpse of The All that is within them.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Better Past

Why do some of us, not you of course, wish for a better past?  Is this not a form of selfishness, thinking about ourselves unduly, wishing we had been better?  We cannot change our past, but we waste useful energy thinking and wishing about it.  My escape from this is to put some action into today, and focus some of this action in being useful to others.  It can be as easy as taking out the garbage, cleaning up shared space, gasing up the car.  Good and useful things unless I do them with resentment while I sit on the pity pot.  Today, action and attitude are what will make tomorrow be filled with peace and serenity.  And wish someone Happy St. Patrick's Day today.  Stay sober and tomorrow you won't wish for a better yesterday.  Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Thursday, March 16, 2017

St. Patrick

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.  The school across the street from where I live in Boulder is called a Catholic school.  But it is not.  Why?  No day off for St. Patrick.  Capitalism has won out.  We are into productivity and work.  It was not always so.  If you lived in the 18th century, the Catholic countries has 80 to 120 days off for feast days, usually associated with saints.  Now the farmers had to work anyway, but still, it was a bit of work-lite.  In Protestant countries, they only got 15-25 days off for holidays.  In part they did not truck much in all this Catholic Saint and Mary feast days,  But it was also the work ethic of capitalism.  Days off cut into productivity and profits.  Karl Marx thought it nothing but greed and avarice.  Whatever.  But Catholics were good at parties then, and not much into capitalism.  When I was a boy we had St. Patrick's Day off.  But Catholics have become good capitalists and much more productive and workaholic.  I try to uplift the old days when Catholics were into parties.  I will work little and play much tomorrow.  I will be a witness to the children hard at work at their desks across the street.  Oh, I forgot.  I am in Vero Beach, Florida.  Anyone for golf?  Or I can go and witness to the children at St. Helen's school down the street in Vero, chained to their desks as Patrick and the Irish weep.