God

I hear many people in alcohol recovery programs say that they don’t believe in God.  Yet they are sober and becoming better persons than when they drank.  They are following the recovery program of AA.  So I think that they do believe in God, but don’t want to let go of their skepticism with organized religion.  Don’t blame God for some earlier brush with religion.  Recovery people really do believe in God because it says in their recovery program that alcoholism is fatal and incurable, except that God could and would, if God were sought.  So they are seeking a God they don’t believe in.  That’s a lot of work.  Maybe it would be easier to accept the existence of a God you don’t believe in.  It would make meditation a lot more productive.  

Proof

 Did you ever say to your self that you would not believe something until there was more or some proof?  Well, faith and proof don’t mix.   Nor does such proof change you.  Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus had lots of proof, but it did not make him a better person.  And he probably did not get a second opinion before his betrayal of Jesus.  Some people say they believe that AA will keep them sober because they see, they have proof, of sober people working AA Program.  But if they don’t work it, then even such proof is useless.  Christians think they would be better Christians if they had more proof.  Action is what makes us better, not proof.  And belief is only a first step.  No one ever got sober with only a first step of belief.  

Junk Mail

 Someone reminds me that God does get “junk mail.”  It is when I pray all about me and how miserable I am, or how I want to win and not lose something that is quite trivial in the larger scheme of things.  When it is all about me, nothing is trivial.  So now when I ask God for “me only” stuff, I say first, “God this is junk mail, but” and then go on from there.  It keeps me in a good humor and this is better than whining, or resentment.  But when I ask for forgiveness or mercy, well, that is never junk mail.  I know this because God answers with the solution.  That means action on my part.  This puts self-pity out the window.  

Happy Thanksgiving

On this Thanksgiving Day, I give thanks for all those people who have been a window for me so that I can see.  But first I must see the light in my life.  And my hope is that my prayer practice, spiritual reading and service to others will make me a window for light to shine where someone might only be seeing darkness and gloom in their life.  But first I must let in the light come to shine brightly.  For this I give Thanksgiving.  

Loss

 Some solutions call for the asset of loss.  It is the letting go that solves a problem or dilemma.  The sacrifice of something precious to us can make us a better person for the sake of another.  When one becomes an alcoholic they lose their ability to drink like a normal person.  The solution to this situation is to lose the practice of drinking totally.  Abstinence.  The loss of drinking, if in a Recovery program brings great assets.  When one takes on a religious or spiritual practice of meditation, they give up time for some other things so as to practice the meditation.  And that leads to a sense of compassion for others.  Which in turn leads to letting go of something for the sake of another person.  Love is an asset of loss.  With surprising gain to often follow.  

Thanksgiving Plans

Do you have Thanksgiving plans this week?  I am going to my sister Jane’s home for a family dinner, and some football on TV.  But if you have no place to go, why not go where people are fed who have no place to go?  Alcoholics Anonymous will feed you.  Or you could go to somewhere that feeds people who have no place to go.  Be of service and become one of the servers or one who cleans up, and eat with the many who are there.  There is rarely “no place to go,” in a town.  Local churches, synagogues, can tell you where to go.  Self-pity can end up in a bar drinking alone with others.   

Grace

 I love the phrase from Romans, Chapter 5, in the Bible.  “Where sins abounds, grace aboundeth more.”  No matter what mess I make, God has my back.  I just need to surrender and cooperate.  So I like the phrase, “Turn it over.”  I don’t so much solve something unaided, a mess I have made, as I cooperate in letting God in, trust, hope.  This is often part of my meditation.  While I will never become a guru, I can get out of my own way.  A mess cannot solve the mess unaided.  

Sharing

 If you want to practice detachment, try sharing.  Share something you prefer to have all to yourself.  Share your time listening, helping, being of service to someone.  Share your precious time on behalf of another person.  Giving good things away, like clothes, to someone else is sharing.  You are letting go of something you like so that you don’t get too attached to “things.”  I like to share books that I buy.  While the book is gathering dust on the shelf, I tell myself, “I might read that book again.”  Temptation to hold on.  I rarely if ever miss a book that I gave to someone.  Detachment has a way of cleansing us.  

Daily Does It

 Some people tell me that they find it difficult to pray.  When I make inquiries as to their practice, I find they pray about the same as non-fit people exercise: occasionally.  Exercise is hard when you first start it.  Practice is what is needed.  Be consistent.  Don’t worry about expertise or becoming a guru.  Results are not up to you.  Prayer includes some other Power, Entity, Energy that is not you.  So it is not all about you talking to yourself.  Well, in the beginning who knows!  Pray daily and at the same time.  Make it a discipline.  You find discipline hard?  Maybe because you have not developed it yet in prayer.  Daily does it.

The Script

 I hear people tell me that a parent did not love them.  That is a pretty dead end relationship.  The parent, on the one hand, might be very loving but not according to the script we have for them.  We want them to act and say things according to our script for them.  On the other hand, the same people might be acting very badly, selfishly even, in the relationship with the parent.  I often suggest that such a person work on themself and not wait around for a parent to “change.”  I have found that often, when we change, the parent is discovered to be loving us all along, but simply not according to our self-focused script.  They even loved us when we were jerks.  We just did not know we were jerks.  

The Problem

 You can try to solve a problem or escape from it.  But what if the problem is you?  Oblivion is an attempt to escape, but it just fools the mind and body into forgetfulness of yourself.  Being very busy is another way to escape the self as the problem.  Puts the problem off to the side, but then if the problem is you, business gets compromised.  You act out your problematic self ins some way, such as a rant when things don’t go as planned.  A spiritual practice and being of help to others as in selflessness, kindness, action, and meditation can be a way to get the problem out of the way.  I don’t so much fix me as I try to keep my shortcomings from manifesting themself in my daily life.  

Pause Press

 I go outside to exercise I set my timer for the exercise.  But I have city crosswalks with stop lights and traffic.  I used to walk way early in the morning dark when there was no traffic and lights were on yellow blink.  But I prefer prayer, meditation and reading early in the morning rather than fit it into my later part of the day.  It frustrates me to have to stop at a light and hit the pause button.  Why frustrated and irritable?  because I do not accept life as it is where I live, lots of traffic.  People drive.  They don’t use ferries, trains and buses to get in and out of town for work or whatever.  So the pause button tells me how I am doing on my spiritual practice.  Acceptance, life as it is, out of my control, means I am in a a good space.  And there is always the gym.  

Belonging

 I am like a borrowed book.  I belonged to God, like a book belongs on a library shelf.  But the book is not meant to stay on the shelf.  That is its home, yes, but its purpose is to be read by borrowers.  The book does not belong to the borrower, but serves its purpose when off the shelf and being read.  My purpose is to be borrowed by others, but they do not own me.  My daily prayer is to remember to whom I belong and where I will eventually end up, I hope.  Without prayer, I will end up in a trash heap, taking up space and of no service to others.  

Control

A sage saying, “Control your emotions, or they will control you.”  We cannot prevent an emotion from coming up into our consciousness.  Better there than hidden away, secretly working on us.  It is what we do with the emotion that matters.  If I feel anger, I can leap into trying to punish a person, or situation to satisfy my anger.  The uncontrolled anger sees the problem as out there and not in me.  On the other hand, I find that when I respond negatively to a situation, with anger, judgment, distain, I have to look first at myself and see what is the matter with me, that I got angry.  The situation could be bad but anger acted out is not the solution.  If you have a disagreement with your neighbor, you don’t burn down their house.  Besides, your own home might catch on fire.   

Amends

 An amends is an attempt to fix or improve or heal something.  It is not just saying “I am sorry.”  Nothing got fixed except the person saying it wants to feel better.  It is still all about them.  The point is, can they improve the situation.  “I am sorry I stole,” is a lot different than, “I will pay you back NOW.”  “I am sorry I broke your window,” is not an amends.  Nothing got fixed.  Repair the window.  “I was wrong” is part of the amending.  It is all part of a “living” amends.  

Stepping Up

 Jesus said to his disciples, his followers he had chosen, to “Love others as I have loved you.”  That is a step up from love your neighbor as yourself.  Jesus loved his followers in spite of themselves and their shortcomings.  He loved them without conditions and accepted their failures.  He gave them a lot of rope to become changed.  He was the Power and they were the Problem.  So no matter how I feel about myself, even on those days when I feel pinned to a cross, I am reminded to love as he loved.  No conditions.  

Giving Our Best

 Jesus told some people to simply follow the commandments.  Love your neighbor as you love yourself.  But what if you don’t love yourself?  A problem for sure.  So for many people who listened to Jesus in his teaching, loving themself was the stumbling block.  Some very selfish people think that by loving others to get what they want, is love.  It is never fulfilling nor is it healing.  So I ask myself each morning and check on it at night before bed, “Do and Did I love myself today and how?”  If I wake up and realize that my day is not about loving myself in a healthy way, then I need to do something about that right away.  Spiritual reading and meditation can help to get me in a more positive frame.  I might need to forgive myself or make an amend to someone from yesterday.  Maybe all someone and get a second opinion.  It may come to me in my “Holy” time in silence and reflection.  God is at work if I let God.  

Vacations

 It is fairly easy to keep to a spiritual practice when I am at home in my routines.  I fit it in.  I have some control and discipline.  I pat myself on the back.  Bu when I get out of my routine, such as travel, vacation, visiting, I seem to do far less practice.  I might do just enough to hold myself together, but not enough to be of service to others, to get out of a narrow self-interest.  What I need to remember is that my faults, character defects, don’t take a vacation.  For that matter, no addiction takes a vacation.  So, I need to find a way to keep up my daily spiritual practice.  It is not an option in my case.  

Imprisioned

Our hearts are imprisoned in God. What is that all about?  Well, we come into this world with our hearts encased in our Creator, God, Power.  The world, on the other hand, sees this as being imprisoned.  We long to be free to do as we please.  This is “self-interest” as the world sees it.  So a smattering of spirituality, makes us feel imprisoned.  Self-interest in this case rejects all spirituality that might reveal we are not imprisoned, but rather encased in love.  If we were to deepen our spirituality, often out of desperation, we wrestle at first with feeling imprisoned in the daily discipline of practice.  Daily mediation is to let go of worldly self-interest and discover that we can die to the world focus and live encased in love.  How might this be lived out?  In service to others, especially when our feelings don’t want to be of service.  “What can I do for others,” becomes more of a focus, than “what can I get out of this.” 

The Focus

The focus that we have when we go into a meeting or receive Holy Communion is what can change us.  If you go into a recovery meeting with the attitude, “What can I get out of this?” Then it is more about you.  If you receive Holy Communion with the attitude of feeling better, or an opportunity to ask God, “Here is what I want or need,” then it is all about you.  Why not go into these experiences with the question, “God what can I do for you?”  Or “What can I bring to this meeting?”  The growth comes with getting out of self.  

Service

 If you are inclined to pride, glamour, fame, and have an inflated opinion of yourself, then being of service to others can bring you into a better balance.  Being of service to others can bring us to humility.  For one, it might not bear fruit as you had hoped or expected.  But it might deflate you sufficiently so you don’t think you are better than.  It is very difficult to feel part of something if you see yourself as better than or above others.  It is why service is expected of someone in addiction recovery and of someone who says they follow the Bible or follow Jesus.  I suspect you will see it as part of any spiritual path.  

Gimme

 There are prayers and then there are prayers.  There is the “gimme” prayer, as in “God give me this or that.”  It is a lot of focus on my agenda, what I want. God is the fix it God, who does the heavy lifting so my agenda gets accomplished.  But what if I am being selfish, or asking what is not good for me?  Anyhow, this prayer with such an attitude is not very productive in our gimme favor.  So I like to think that a prayer, “What can I do for you, God?” Might get me out of my own way.  

Winks

 It is called a “God wink.”  Things happen, or take place that people might call a “coincidence.”  But many people who pursue a spiritual practice, know that it is God, Higher Power, at work.  It is not hearing voices or having wow moments or a deep meditation, but rather just a quiet “Oh,” I got the wink.  Someone is in charge and it is not me.  A moment for gratitude.  

Prayer For Change

Do you pray for someone to stop doing some addictive, bad habit?  But they don’t?  Did God abandon the situation?  No.  Maybe the prayer needs to be that the person first experience the depth of pain that will bring them to seek help to change their addictive life.  In some circles, it is called a spiritual bottom.  In their darkness, there is a light.  But they might not know where to go for help.  So, along with your prayer that they might survive their bottom, have a phone number or place that can help.  Few people stop bad behavior for the sake of others.  OK.  Maybe, but it will be temporary.  They are too selfish.   They stop when it hurts themself too much.  

Obsession

 There are physical obsessions.  The body is obsessed with getting something.  We think we can overcome the obsession simply by not indulging in it.  The body does not get what it wants.  But it does not work.  Why?  Because the obsession is of the mind.  Until you decide to do the addictive action, you will refrain.  It is the mind that has to be worked on.  The mind decides.  The mind says it will be ok this time to do what destroys the body.  Recovery, any spiritual practice works on the mind, the decision process.  Think of vertigo.  You stand on a cliff or high place and the mind tells you to jump.  The body knows better but the mind has the power.  You cannot work on becoming more spiritual until the decision process is transformed.  That is why recovering people are told to go to meetings.  Don’t wait until you feel like it.  

Solutions

 People make big, life changing decisions, in order to solves their problems.  You could marry the right person, but for the wrong reasons.  You could make a geographic move, quit a job and take a new one, become an exerciser, all to solve some issue in your life that bothers you.  So now you are married, living in a new town, with a new job, and jogging.  But you are not yet happy, fulfilled, serene.  A good reason to have sober friends, balanced friends, mature friends, is that they will tell you truth you cannot see or do not want to hear.  Unfortunately most people who make bad life decisions lack such friends or the trust in them needed to actually hear a second opinion.  

Pouring

 “Pouring” is a good metaphor for conversion or change of life from chaos to serenity and usefulness.  A drunk pours too many drinks into their body.  Someone with little spiritual life practice, decides to work on this lack thereof.  Neither the drunk nor the spiritual seeker will get anywhere unless they “pour” themself into recovery and/or spiritual practice.  Religion like recovery is dry unless one pours themself into it.  I have met a lot of “use to be” people.  They use to go to recovery meetings or religious practice. They use to meditate.  They are spiritually “dry.”  Eventually, sooner or later, their old mismanaged life will come back and be worse.  As a priest, I must pour myself into prayer, otherwise I am just a bachelor.  

The Darkness

 Whenever life seems to be full of darkness, I like to be around people of hope.  Darkness otherwise seems like, well, just dark and hopeless. But I am reminded that flowers grow in the dark.  Just because we cannot see it, does not mean there is not growth.  And when we come into the light, then we will see.  Hope is the light.  

Judgments

We tend to judge people or label them according to our own emotions.  If I am a fear based person, for instance, then a lot of people would be judged by my reaction to them.  If I am frightened by them, even though I don’t know them, they must be bad people.  A lot of prejudice might be fear based.  I remember long ago walking into a meeting of people I did not know personally, but who had “problems” that brought them there.  I had fear, though I did not know it at the time.  I judged them weird, or crazy and was quite uncomfortable.  But for whatever reason I went back and back again.  In time they became wonderful people, quite enlightened, I discovered.  What changed?  Me.  I dropped my fears.   

All Saints

 Today, in my spiritual tradition of the Catholic Church, we celebrate “All Saints Day.”  It is the day that I can honor all those people who I think are saints.  This would include my Mom, Margaret, my Dad, Bernard, and my Big Sis, Maureen.  They were saints for me and have passed on into the next stage of life.  In a Recovery Program it might have been your deceased sponsor who put up with you in your own recovery.  Today we thank our saints for their good example.  Many people in my tradition are recognized as saints by my Church.  I broaden the base with my own added list.  You can do that too.