The Empty

In a way, I seek loneliness.  Why?  To feel lonely in some way, is to remind myself that nothing can fill it but the solitude and silence of letting go, entering into the void of meditation, abandoning a focus on thoughts and mental images that might fill the void like sweets might fill an empty stomach.   In this empty place, the imagination does not nourish.  Yet, it is not nothingness.  It has a fullness about it.  Sometimes, it is not easy to sink into this light in the darkness.  It can be like trying to submerge oneself in deep water while wearing a life vest.  But if I do not seek to be alone, loneliness will find me anyway.  And if I am not prepared by a spiritual way, it will be devastating.  I cannot shop, eat, drink or busy my way out of it.