The Last Ditch

 Too often, trust for me comes as the “Last Ditch.”  I have tried everything else to get what I want, to get my way, to be in control, to make determination my energy fuel.  Behind all this is “worry” that things are going to go terribly sideways and beyond my control.  I clinch my jaw and push on.  All fails at results I sought.  I come to the last ditch, trust.  Obviously, I am not a trustful person at least in God or any Higher Power than myself.  But trust is all I have left.  I feel diseased in trust, but feelings are not necessary to trust.  I just say, “God I trust.”  Then I try and relax.  I mean what else is there to do?  If  I would trust more, or more readily, it would come easier, like other things that I do over again.  I am a work in progress?  Hope.  And maybe call a trust coach.