Sleep Aide

I am going through a miserable cold.  The doctor prescribed for me some sleep aide medicine that was non-addictive.  I took it at night before I went to bed.  Not much happened for the first hour or two or so I thought.  But I found that in the middle of the night when I probably was most bothered by my cold, I was sleeping as well.  I had dreams filled with anxious events and moments.  I would wake in the late of the night, around 3ish and get up, cough and blow my nose and lay there in some meditation since it did not seem that I would go back to sleep.  Then I would sleep into the morning, waking up and going back to sleep.  The dreams in the early morning were very peaceful and happy.  They were the kind of dreams I would like to go back to whereas the ones from earlier in the night, I was glad they were only dreams.  I don't know that dope has anything to do with dreams or if middle of the night deep meditation affects dreams.  I only know I had this experience.  What do you know about this?

The Long And The Short

In the late 1970s and early 1980s religious order and diocesan priest leaders began to move in on alcoholic priests.  The Superior Generals of the religious orders and the leaders of diocesan clergy heard professional speakers talk about the problem of alcohol in clergy.  Priests who drank alcoholically were confronted and sent away to treatment centers.  When they finished the treatment they were expected to go into daily recovery programs such as AA.  They were not simply put back into parishes.  They were not cured.  They are never cured.  That is the purpose of addiction recovery programs.  No recovery program and you go back to the booze.  The church also heard about pedophiles in the priesthood and some moved in on them and sent them to treatment programs.  Those programs said the person was "better" and could be returned to ministry.  But there was no ongoing meetings for this addiction.  Sex anonymous with a pedophile wing might have been a good thing, but it did not happen.  And there goes all the difference.  Ask any alcoholic priest in recovery when he got sober and he will tell you most likely, somewhere between 1978 and 1985.  By then the seminaries were on the watch for alcoholism and not ordaining them as in the past when there was ignorance or denial.

Forgot Me

I just realized that I forgot to do a blog on my birthday.  Was this an act of selflessness?  Was I really thinking about others instead of me?  Then again, am I just getting old and forgetful, confused, and muddled?  Well, anyway, I enjoyed the day, and continue to celebrate it for the week.  P.S.. There is another blog for today.

Wasting Time

When people tell you that you are wasting your time, it is often because they do not value what you are doing.  It has no importance for them.  For many people, prayer is a waste of time.  They mean the meditative prayer where you sit there and seem to do nothing.  Prayer for a parking place, or for a timely reservation at a restaurant, or anxiety-ridden moments are OK.  That prayer is quick and to the point.  I want.  God gives.  Meditation is a whole different world to the outsider.  Just know that when the next time someone says you are wasting your time.  They might just be going off to TV land and Dancing with the Stars, or The Last Survivor.  My struggle is to take time to meditate and still watch March Madness!  We all have our value systems.  

Happy Easter

There was a time when Easter was just another Sunday for me.  I was in that period of time, a single bachelor, living on the wild West Coast in the town of San Francisco.  Easter Sunday mass was not in my plans if I had any plans for a Sunday.  What was worse is that I did not miss it.  How I got from there to here is pure grace, a gift.  I was the kind of guy who backed into the good when the bad looked like the jumping off point.   I "wanted" a spiritual life, but then I wanted a Porche.  Now and again, this being Northern California, I sensed God in nature but I did not stay around long enough to listen, should God have anything to say beyond, "Here I Am!"  Friends who knew me when, would be surprised that I will celebrate my 73rd birthday tomorrow.  Miracles are everywhere.

Overshadowed

This is Easter weekend in my church.  It is a big time for focusing on God.  Many people get all energized, and do special things, events, church ceremonies this weekend.  God is the focus.  This is all good for my church and my work.  Then comes Monday, the first day after Easter.  People are so over celebrations or they want to quietly celebrate the Easter Octave.  Unfortunately for me, this Easter Monday is my birthday, March 28.  Will anyone take note?  If I were spiritually evolved instead of a child wanting to blow out candles, I would rejoice that my day is like the empty tomb, forgotten, given the Resurrection.  Oh well, I suppose my birthday could have been Good Friday.  Then a party would really be in bad taste!

Lost And Found

Some of us have a spiritual life journey that is like "Lost and Found" departments.  At some point we are completely lost, though we might not even know it.  As a child in a department store shopping with my Mom, I wandered away from her but did not know that I was getting lost.  I was not paying attention.  I willfully did what I wanted and went where I wanted to go.  Then I discovered that I was lost. I cried.  I panicked.  I could not find my Mom on my own.  I needed help.  Eventually, I was found.  So it is on the spiritual path.  I am on the path as a child.  Then I get willful.  I become all about me.  I wander off into people and situations and practices that seem good at the time, but prove to be a disaster.  I then realize I am lost.  I need help from someone(s).  I listen to them.  I let them lead me and eventually I have a newfound God.  Maybe God lets me get lost so that I will appreciate the journey back and the community that helps me.  Anyway, I prefer to be found rather than lost, but I was one who had to do it the hard way.