Compassion's Gift

When you have compassion on someone, you receive a gift.  It is the gift of gratitude.  If you see someone who is drunk, all disheveled, and dirty, lying on the ground and you judge them as being say, worthless, or weak-willed, or a disgrace to humankind, you walk away totally disengaged with that person, and you get no gift of gratitude.  But if you see the same person and feel some connection with their pain, that would be compassion, "com passio" to suffer with.  You do not judge them, or go into false pride of how much better you are than that person.  Rather, you get the gift of gratitude, that you are not suffering his/her life and pain.  "There but for the grace of God go I."  Or, "Thank you God for the grace to have chosen a spiritual path that keeps me on a daily basis from a life of misery."  Then you might even see if there is some way to respond to the person lying heaped on the ground.  Maybe a simple hello, which recognizes their existence.  Maybe you will be the only one to say hello to that person all day.  Compassion closes the door on judgment and opens the way to gratitude.  We are all God's children.

Speak Little

St. Francis de Sales says that “to speak little does not consist in uttering only a few words, but in uttering none that are useless.”  It is not about saying nothing, but in not babbling which often comes from fear, or wanting to call attention to yourself.  Whenever I want to show off or put someone down, I tend to speak too many words.  I find that compliments, on the other hand, do not take many words.  When I offer advice, I simply tell people what works for me.  Maybe I should have shorter blogs?  Or no blogs at all?

Dirty Cups

My mother taught me to clean the inside of a cup so that coffee and tea stains would not remain.  Clean the inside and the outside would be fine.   Don't be lazy and clean only the outside of the cup. At the monastery we each have our own cups which sit on a shelf with our name under our cup. I always clean the inside of my cup to this day.  But sometimes I will use a cup from the common stock of cups stored on the coffee cup shelf.  Stains on the inside of the cup!  I say, "Useless and worthless monks!"  My attitude is one of resentment and judgment.  If so, then maybe I ought to be cleaning the inside cup of my soul, and not just trying to look good on the outside, or focusing only the others and their perceived shortcomings.  Did not Jesus say, "Clean the inside of the cup, so the the outside also may be clean."  My daily spiritual life needs to focus on my insides or else I will be ever resentful and judgmental of the world around me.

The Door To Happiness

Victor Frankl in, "The Doctor and the Soul," said that the door to happiness opens outward.  I think he was referring to Kierkergaard.  Anyway, the meaning is that happiness is relational, interpersonal and covenantal.  It reaches out, opens outward to others. When we bond with another person or persons, such as in community, where love rather than self-interest predominate, we tend to be happy.  People in recovery programs have discovered this.  People who live in small faith communities might discover this too, if their spiritual  practice is more about service than escape.  Loving families discover this. I know that I am in a bad spot, isolation, when I am asked to do something of service for another person, and I cringe, or try to find a reason to say no, or suddenly feel resentful that my "plans" might be interrupted or curtailed.  That is why being of service is always a corrective to the "selfing" life, and always a revealer of how I am doing.  If "Yes" is my second response to a request, then I am living the redemptive life.  

Stay Or Leave

HOMILY NOTES

FR. TERRY RYAN, CSP

Joshua 24, Ephesians 5: 21-32, John 6: 60-69

August 26, 2018, Snowmass Trappist Monastery

The questions asked in Joshua and John are the questions many a Catholic are asking themselves today.  Joshua asks, who will cross the line and join me?  Jesus asks Peter, “Do you also want to leave?”  Catholics are asking themselves theses questions about their church.  I too had to ask and answer this question for myself some years ago.  

I was 13 and an altar boy.  One of the priests was kind of “icky.”  I did not much care for him but he one day invited me to his room to see something that must of been of interest to me.  So I went.  As I was sitting as a desk he stripped down to his shorts and tank top.  When he did not change into some other pants, I thought that this might be a time to go.  So I did.  Years later, I heard that he had been found out and disbarred or whatever they do to priests.  Another fellow, a layman, wanted to start a summer boys day camp.  He seemed like a nice guy and it was cheap.  I enjoyed it, but found out years later that eventually “something happened” and he was not allowed to ru the camps anymore.  Finally, there was a fellow in town not connected with church at all, who helped local boys baseball teams, with equipment, league organization and such.  I met him once and he seemed like a nice guy though I never joined in the teams.  Years later he was tried and found guilty I believe.  This all happened in the 50s. 

But I decided to stay with the church just as did Peter in the gospel.  He did not say, “Where should we go” as in going to some other place, but rather he said, “To WHOM shall we go.”  It is about relationship with Christ.  I have this relationship with Christ that is fed by the Eucharist and this holds me.  But if I am going to cross the line as Joshua challenges, there is more that I must do.  Joshua says, “Decide whom you will serve.”  He did not say that by crossing the line, anyone would get power, control, complete authority.  No, he said “serve.”  Jesus was about service. 

If you want to join, or lead, you had better be of service, such as washing feet of disciples, rejection by people in power, crucifixion and such.  Which brings me to the letter to Ephesians.   Paul calls us Brothers and Sisters.  We are all interconnected in this.  We are supposed to be subordinate to one another that is, to serve one another.  If you are the head, as the husband is supposed to be in marriage, as in this reading, you are the first servant of your wife.  Being a leader in the Christian community is not something you seek.  The first are last.  The church lives in a hierarchical model based upon the Roman government.  The top guy has all the power.  No checks and balances.  In Jesus’ community the top is the bottom.  But families developed with the idea that the male is boss, that is, in charge to get his way.  Jesus did not come with that model.  The only reason you break from being servant is if your partner does not love their flesh, which includes the other person, you.  “The two become one flesh” in the bible.  If one person is on drugs and alcohol then you have to take charge, or if they hurt you, you have to take charge.  

In AA, leaders are servants.  If you lead a meeting, you serve the needs of all at that meeting.  If you sponsor someone, you give up of time and energy to help the recovering addict through the steps.  Meetings give you comfort, but being of service gives you sobriety.  This is more what Jesus had in mind than the top down power grab of Roman rule.  

It is correct to be outraged and want some change, but the question that might be asked is the one I had to ask myself some years ago.  Do I have a relationship to Jesus Christ that is fed by the Eucharist, becoming one with his flesh, and am I willing to be of service?  I have found the being of 

Power And Love

Many people seem to want a god of power so that their power god can fix things, prevent bad things and keep good things going.  But what if God does not care much for power, but does care about love.  Why? The power god fixes things for people, or they so hope.  The God of Love wants people to fix things.  God is about relationship that bonds.  There is a bible story for this.  There was a king who had all power, and a servant who had no power but was in debt to the king, big time.  The servant cannot pay up.  So the power decision of the king is to sell the servant, his family and belongings to recover the debt.  The servant begs and whines.  The king becomes a king of compassion now.  He forgives the debt, not postpones it, but forgives it.  The hope is that now the servant will do likewise with others and the world will be less fractured.  But the servant does not learn from the king.  The servant goes to someone who owes him a debt and cannot pay.  First a beating and then off to prison goes the debtor. The king then goes back to the power game and punishes his servant.  What do we learn?  God shows us a way, by forgiveness and compassion.  This makes for a world more whole.  We are then supposed to do likewise with one another.  When we do not, our world becomes fractured and we are all broken by bad behavior.  Asking God to make things right when we won't is insane.  I pray for sanity each day.

Friendship

When I try to be a friend to someone, I hope that I am bringing them a little bit of happiness and lessening the pain in their life.  In my actions and my manner, I ask myself, "Am I bringing a bit of happiness or lessening pain?"  I think that a friendship can be longterm if I keep these thing in mind.  Some people see  "progression" in a relationship, that is, we move from friendship to sex.  Not just young people do this.  "We are friends.  We enjoy one another's company.  Let's go to bed and make love." For most people this progression is soon followed by the last step, which is a breakup with pain and unhappiness on one or both of the couple.  It is not that longterm friendship does not think about sex.  Thoughts and emotions about sex are just that.  You don't have to act on them.  This is what I like about true recovery of a spiritual practice.  It is not just the practice of meditation, yoga, walk in the woods, etc. It is about how you then live out your life with another person.  Intimacy does not mean you have to take your clothes off.  Intimacy is a slow gradual process.  It takes patience, trust and hope.  You will learn to listen.  You will learn to speak from the heart.  It is in our DNA.