Dating

 Some people think a relationship with God, to be fulfilling, is like dating.  In dating you want to feel something, and you act to help get whatever that feeling is.  We date to get something out of it.  That is the way people pray.  It is so self-centered.  Rare is the person who seeks God just for God.  In which case one would have to let go of the controls, to surrender, to trust.  Loving God is not what you get out of it, but what you become, your truest, best self.  Contemplation is not about feeling or experience.  It is becoming a receptacle for God's love and Grace.  We become receivers of Love.  How will I know then what is going on?  By the fruits of the prayer.  Your life will change.  In the 12 step recovery program, the first 10 steps are achievement steps full of feeling and experience.  Then 11 and 12 we let go, not asking for good feelings, or for our program for happiness.  We become of service.  By their fruits you will know them.  That is in the bible.