The Long Journey

Bill Wilson, the co-founder of AA, had a pretty powerful, white-light religious or numinous experience.  Suddenly he believed in God and the goodness of God.  You would like that, right?  Well, nine years later, or so, he fell into a depression that lasted for some time.  Did he fall off the wagon? No.  Was his original experience an illusion? No.  It is a rather natural process in the spiritual growth journey.  When we have a lot of psychic or emotional pain from some past experiences, we can tend to "stuff" it inside ourselves.  Bill this this with drink, and ego-inflation.  With his initial spiritual experience, he stopped stuffing this pain.  With his daily prayer life and good works, the layers that covered this pain were removed.  It took a few years, but then the pain was released and with him it led to depression.  That was a lot of pain buried within the psyche.  he did get some professional help.  Great mystics have called this process one of moving from light into a spiritual darkness that for a while covers the light.  Eventually, if we stay the course, we will come out of it and into a deeper light or closer union with the Source of Life.  Some call it Eternal Life.  The pink cloud, the initial good experience is not Eternal Life.  It is a start.  Patience, endurance, discipline to the daily prayer, sometimes trudging along, will get you through it all.  At least I have found it that way.