Wednesday, September 25, 2013
In our all boys Catholic high school class we sensed that the priest was waffling on the topic of "french kissing." Up till then it was thought to be a mortal sin, period. We started to press him. "Father, how long can the french kiss be, before it is a mortal sin?" Ladies, I am not making this up! Our objective was to french kiss, but not go to hell. This is how morality was taught back then. It was all private actions, rule breaking, that I had to avoid. What was missing in this teaching? The girl. There was nothing about the girl we might be kissing. What was her interest? What were her feelings? Morality, in sex anyway, was not about the common good, or relationship. It was between me and the church's rules. For many people today, sin, wrong, has nothing to do with the common good, or social justice, or communal relations. Yes, we should give alms, care for the less fortunate, but we won't burn for ignoring them. We will burn for french kissing. As many a young girl would say to the boy, after the deed is done, "I feel like you do it as if I am not even here." If the boy is still into guilt and confession, he will confess this as breaking a rule, but never as offending another person.