Loneliness

Many young women, though not all,  come into addiction recovery programs with their baggage of loneliness.  It is of course not a unique feeling to them.  We all have it to some extent now or again.  These young women are beautiful, talented, and aching in the heart.  What is rare for many of them is a relationship with someone to whom they are attracted without sex, drugs and alcohol.  As they recover from the drug/alcohol, they still have a talent deficit in relationships with someone to whom they are attracted.  If they go out with someone and have fun together, enjoy each other's company, their recovering mind says, "Oh, we are dating.  We will make love."  Loneliness, undiagnosed, tends to lead them to jumping into things too soon.  You might say, "Sex is no big deal."  That is the problem.  Sex ought to be a big deal.  As a "no deal" it will not help with loneliness.  We all need to learn to be in company with people we love, enjoy, to whom we are attracted, without taking our clothes off or think "we are dating" as some prelude to something else.  In time, and with some spiritual practice, we can all discover that some of our best friendships come with our clothes on.  It is a good way to recover from loneliness.