High Society

In the 1950s movie, “High Society,” Grace Kelly, in her last movie before marrying the Prince of Monaco, and while wearing her actual engagement ring in the movie, is engaged to a man named George.  At one point in the movie George says to Grace, Samantha is her movie name, “I adore you.”  Samantha looks at George and says with a bit of a frown, “I don’t want to be adored.  I want to be loved.”  Is not that the truth ladies?  Why do guys look for women that they can adore, put on a pedestal, but when such a women proves to be human and imperfect, the man loses interest, or dumps her, or goes to find some other person to adore?  So the next time a guy tells you he adores you, or you are the most perfect person in the world, this is a red flag.  You might say what Samantha said, I want to be loved.”  I wonder if the Prince of Monaco adored his Princess?

The Solution Fails

What happens when your solution to happiness stops working?  You might consult with others who have had the same experience of suffering through a failed solution.  Example: a fellow said that he “drank himself into sobriety.”  Say what?  Yes, drinking was his solution to scary and negative feeelings.  He drank and it numbed him out.  He did stop feeling fearful, anxious, lonely, and so on.  Then one day he drank and could not numb out.  He drank more but his negative feelings stayed the same.  Alcohol, his solution, stopped working.  Instead of isolating or killing himself, he decided to go find people who might understand his predicament.  He went to AA.  There he found people who had failed at life, just like him, but had found a way to a more successful and happy life.  They had found a different solution.  So when you think your solutions are failing you, why not find some other people who have had similar failures and see what they are doing about it?  It seems more constructive than isolation or suicide.

Freedom

One of the freedoms that I celebrate today is the freedom I have from some of my worst faults.  Through trudging the daily road of working on my faults, avoiding situations that trigger them and trying to be more useful to others, I have developed some separation from things that held me in bondage and could again if I do not do the daily work, spiritual and otherwise.  Never take our freedoms for granted.  Happy Fourth!

Baobab Tree

The Baobab tree thrives in hot, dry climates where nothing else seems to grow.  Its fruit is the tartar used in your toothpaste.  When a disease strikes the Baobab, the plant explodes from within to be rid of the sickness.  This causes gaping hole scares on the outside of the tree, but it is healthy again.  What might we learn from our friend the Baobab?  When the disease of hurts from the world around us get inside of us, we tend to hold onto them in resentments and seek revenge or hate whatever caused the hurt.  We “look good on the outside, but are messy on the inside.”  Why not explode from the inside in forgiveness and love?  It might cause scars on the outside, but we would be healed on the inside.  Don’t Christians say that when their Jesus rose, he had the scars from those who tried to hurt and kill him?  He was rather loving and accepting too as I recall.  Are you worried that you are letting others off too easy?  You assume that your hating them or not forgiving will make them feel badly?  Oh you of little power.  And all this resentment time, you are feeling miserable and sick inside.  Learn from the Baobab which flourishes in desert conditions because it lets go of the bad stuff.

Fear or Love

When we are afraid we tend to grasp, hoard, defend, make excuses, lie and other bad behavior that we might justify if we do not realize it is about fear.  On the other hand, when we are energized by love rather than fear, we tend to be more generous, less judgmental, more open-hearted and in a listening mode.  We tend to forgive more easily as a parent might their child.  When I find myself in fear, this is a plus, not the fear, but the recognition that fear is my main energy at the moment.  Then I ask myself, “What can I do to connect with love?”  I don’t try to get rid of fear directly.  I am not sure that is possible.  Rather, I try to find reasons to love.  It might start with “this day is a gift.”  An addict might work on their sobriety.  I might call someone up and ask how they are doing today and be ready to listen.  I might do some kind deed without being asked.  I might clean my room.  A clean room is a way of loving myself.  I may grumble a bit while I do it, but I feel so good when it is done.  Clean towels and sheets too.  Whatever, just get active and out of yourself.

A Problem

When wisdom literature such as the Bible says that something is a problem it does not mean that it is bad in itself.  Example: money or material wealth or just lots of stuff may not be bad in themselves.  But they can become a problem if they master us and get in the way of other beneficial things/activities. Does money rule your life?  Do material possessions rule your life?  Do they prevent you from doing some other things beneficial to yourself and maybe others.  If you say "I would like to meditate, but am too busy," what is the busy about?  Are you too busy making money or buying things, to allow time to pray?  To attend to a love one?  To care for someone who could use a little TLC? Sleep is the same issue.  Not getting enough sleep is not bad in itself, but it leads to problems such as being too tired to do necessary or important things.  When you hear Jesus say, "Choose God or mammon," is is not that mammon is bad, just that it gets in the way of choosing God.  So what gets in the way of you having a fuller life, rather than a busier one?  Busier is not fuller.

Pleasure

I hear about the prayer of "letting go," "surrender," "renounce" and such as that.  Let go of what? The pleasure of enjoying prayer?  Well, if letting go is good, then you first have to have the pleasure.  So don't feel guilty when you read the surrender literature about prayer.  It is for the adepts, and if you ever get taken there, you will find surrender to make sense.  But first you have to have the pleasure.  So enjoy whatever spiritual practice you are doing.  It means you are where you are supposed to be.  You found a practice that makes you feel good, or at least better than if you did nothing, which is what you probably did when you lived a life of insanity.  Prayer that makes you feel miserable, loveless and energy depleted?  I would find another prayer way that makes you feel better.  Yeh for pleasure in prayer.