Not That Bad

When people tell me that they are a little worried about their behavior, I try not to make them feel better by saying, "Oh, you are not that bad."  They might get worse.  If they feel that they are developing a bad, unhealthy or self-abusive habit, it will only get worse, never better.  It is the nature of bad habits.  The first step in ceasing a worrisome habit is to admit that you cannot stop on your own.  This is ego deflating and humiliating or at least humbling.  If I tell you that you are not all that bad, it pumps up your ego to think you still got things under control with a bit more effort, will power or whatever.  I am not in the "making you feel better" business.  Transformation is never down that road.