The Fix

Are you meditating or doing anything to get some specific feeling?  Then you are trying to take control.  Meditating is not about control.  It is about surrender, to letting go, to allowing God, your HP to take over the journey since your ego does not really know where and how to go in a direction best for you.  If you are drinking, ask yourself why?  Are you thirsty?  Do you want to simply relax?   You probably did that with the first drink, but you did not stop.  You tried for control.  Who ever drinks to control their drinking probably should not be drinking at all.  I ask myself why I am doing something.  Often, I find the reasons somewhat akin to insanity or self-centeredness.  In such instances, the original purpose got lost somewhere in the action.  Or the action was not good in the first place for me.