In The Middle

Suicide is what stands in the middle between not wanting to die though fearful of life, and not knowing how to live.  Fear of life and being clueless to living.  Suicide is really the absence of...what?  Of a spiritual condition, a spiritual practice.  But you don't believe in God or mediation or any prayer?  OK.  But those are not the only ways to develop some spiritual fitness.  You could be of service.  Go, or stay, and help someone else.  Suicide is so full of isolation and depression.  When you are helpful to another, you are not alone.  You connect.  Maybe cleaning your room or bathroom would be helpful to another person.  I have met people who would not lift a finger to be helpful to someone near them, but would go out to some town project or church work, to be helpful to strangers.  Whatever, at least you won't kill yourself.  You might even begin to believe that you are worth living.