The Spiritual Circus

I begin my early morning prayer time with the gospel for the day. Then I read it again in Spanish. Then I read a Spanish commentary on the Gospel. Then I read another spiritual booklet. Then I sit quietly in silence and wait for God to do whatever God does.

Lately, I question all this preliminary "stuff." It is as if I have gone to the concession stand to get my treats/food, found my seat at the circus and now it is time for the dancing bear to show up and, well, dance. What if I were to read the gospel, or a psalm, and then put the book down and rest in the silence. Who needs all my preliminary? If I believe God is within and simply wants to love on me, then my job is to show up and let God love me. Be, rather than do.

There is plenty of "doing" of things the rest of the day. My spiritual reading and thinking about what I read is not going to control God. Some people might say, "Oh, but I need this to transition from busy mind to rest in stillness." Yes, but. At some point, if you are called to mysticism, then you simply rest and wait. If anything, use a word to call you back from the busy mind to rest in stillness.

Maybe I only need a word. "In the beginning was the Word."