The Questioin

 The question I ask myself is not “do I like doing this,” but rather “is this good for me.”  There were or are things I like doing but they were not good for me.  Then I did things I did not like doing, but they were good for me.  You don’t get out of incomprehensible demoralization by asking “do I like this.”  You are too sick to know what is good for you, but sick enough to know you must make a drastic change.  I have found it so.  People ask me if I like cooking in the monastery.  Or do I like cooking at all.  But an answer to that question depends on how my ego is doing.  My ego has had its day of reign.  It was not a very successful ruler.  It was happiest when most self-centered, when self will ran riot.  Then came incomprehensible demoralization.  So I cook for others because it is good for me to do this.  It connects me with the community in a healthy way.  It may at times be boring and at time creative and exciting.  If I do it for praise, then I have slipped off the path of becoming my best self.