Wednesday, July 19, 2017
To paraphrase Matthew Kelly, you can make a lot of bad relationships because of your fear of being alone. When I first moved to Chicago, as a single guy, I knew no one. I was alone. It never occurred to me that I could go to a museum and treat myself to art. No, I went to a bar. There I would meet a woman, who my first instinct said was not for me. But I killed that instinct with a drink, and thus a budding, but "never should have been" relationship would begin. There were a few of these. My best women relationships in Chicago were with women I never met in bars nor at work. The fear of being alone was what drove me to places and people that were not fulfilling for my deepest needs. But that fear seemed to block out at times healthier and more stimulating activities, places and events. You might want to go through your list of people in your life and ask if they are there because of this aloneness fear or are they there for more positive reasons. I hope that my blog does not get the cut.