One of the best gifts we can give to someone who is debilitated is physical presence in a patient and loving manner. Accept that the person is ill or losing their mind or have lost memory. Don't judge what is going on inside of them. Your presence may keep them from the discomfort of feeling agitated and confused. They may even refer to you as someone else who is long dead. It does not matter. Your sane presence is a gift. It is a practice in selflessness because you do not feel you are getting much out of it or wonder if you are doing any good. No immediate payoff. Then, when you least expect it, there is a little miracle. The best grace is always to surprising grace.