Leading With A Question

When we love someone or at least do not want to sound too offensive, we tend to hide our judgement of their behavior by asking a question instead of making a statement of their unacceptable behavior as we judge it.  In the famous bible story of Martha and Mary with Jesus coming to dinner, Martha is doing all the dinner prep while Mary is sitting around listening to Jesus.  Martha is steamed.  She asks a question of Jesus, "Don't you care that my sister has left me by myself?"  It is an attempted way to soften Martha's judgment that Jesus in fact, to her, does not care!  It would be bad for to accuse Jesus, him being the Son of God, and her house guest.   She is full of a lot of negative energy.  Never upset the cook!  But Jesus does not let any of her negative energy imprison his response.  He does not take on any of her anger or frustration or anxiety.  He responds but not with the same emotion as Martha.  Just because someone else in the room is angry does not mean that you have to be angry.  Think about that the next time someone accuses you with a question.  Questions can be judgments disguised.  Having said all this, I would never upset the cook.  It can make for an unenjoyable meal experience.  Go Martha!