One day while I was deep into prayer at the monastery, I had a vision of my sister Maureen. She was in purgatory. She did not look too happy, as one would expect of someone in purgatory. "Sorry you are still in purgatory, Maureen. Sometimes I pray you will get to heaven. But you gotta pay for being mean to me." Maureen retorted, "I am not here because of my sins. I am here because of yours, you bad boy." "What, me, bad?"I exclaimed. "Yes, you bad," answered Maureen. "But I love you, so when I died, I asked God to let me spend your time in purgatory, so you would not have to come here." "I don't have to go to purgatory Maureen," I said. "I am a priest. We get a free ride to heaven!" Maureen replied, "That is just a recruiting tool to get you to sign up, the church being desparate for celibate men. In fact, I will never get out of here because you just keep being bad, and lengthening your purgatory. My love is getting a bit thin." "Name my sins!" I demanded. Maureen then gave me the list.
"When you don't get your own way, you whine."
"Hardly a day goes by that you don't have a bout of self-pity."
"You tell lies about us growing up, and call it a sermon."
"You buy too many flashy running shoes to show off. Then you wear them at mass."
"You want to be the center of attention, instead of Jesus."
"If someone criticizes you, you put them on your resentment list and plot revenge."
"You beg all the good cooks in the parish to feed you, telling them you are starving."
"Self. Self. Self! All about you. I will never get out of here!"
Just then I woke up from this nightmare. Back to reality. Wonderful me!