I am not the best of drivers. Sometimes I get a bit lost looking through the rear view mirror. Disaster potential! But I can do that with relationships and life in general too. I keep looking into the past, my past and past relationships. When I do this, I do not allow that people might have changed for the better, that is, matured. Rather than confirm their growth, should I meet them again, I keep treating them as they once were. If someone came up to me, (and it has happened) and said, "I cannot believe you became a priest, or are still a priest. You were such a jerk!" it would not engender a healthy present relationship. There would be no relationship. One of us is living in the past, in a "rear view mirror life." If someone who currently knows me were to say I am a jerk now, that might be OK. But I am not the same jerk I was years ago. I am a different jerk today. Still, it would engender no relationship. Names do hurt.