Thursday, June 23, 2016
Without an interior prayer life, or "inwardness," as some would call it, I believe that I would make Christianity into whatever makes me feel comfortable. If I feel comfortable going to church on Sunday, and obeying the Ten Commandments, then that is what I will call "Christianity." Keep a few rules and laws. But true Christianity is not supposed to make me feel comfortable. Yes, when I am a mess, and ask God to forgive me, this is comfortable. But only for a moment, the moment when I experience forgiveness. The reason I want to be forgiven is because of some wrong I did, and this wrong came from some character defect in me, some ongoing fault let's say. Now Christianity becomes less comfortable because it is all about change. I need to change, but left to my own devices I have not the ability to change. I need God. I can read scriptures and see how I am supposed to be living in relation to my neighbor. I find it daunting. Going to church on Sunday did not make it less daunting or give me the wherewithal to do better. I need God, or Grace. I know what to do and struggle to do it. Christianity is hard when you are not perfect. I get strength from my interior prayer life.