The Past

It is a bit unreal to expect anyone to forget the past things done to them, or past hurtful experiences.  Memory is memory.  "Getting over" the past is not about forgetting it.  It is about dropping the expectation that the past will change.  Only the present can change.  The past is done.  It is history.  Some people think the solution to a past is revenge.  Get even.  Or go one better.  Revenge Plus.  I have found that it is best to admit who did what and not apologize for them.  It could be someone we love but who just did not come through for us as we wanted.  A parent gets sick and cannot give the child the care the child wanted and needed.  You were the child.  Once the past is admitted, then I try to not let its energy control me now.  Mommy is gone and I am no longer a baby, but the energy is still there for that old want.  Meditation has helped a lot to keep me in the present and see where I am letting the past energy leak into my responses to life today.  Oblivion would be a short term solution.  Been there.  Done that.  I remind myself now, "The past is not going to change. Stop living it."  I have become a better friend this way.  No one wants to be a friend if they sense you are in it to soothe some old scar.  Mediation is a way of 'Friending" myself.  I like that!  So do my friends.