Drop Outs

 A lot of people have left the Christian path because Jesus did not rise up to their idea of him.  They wanted a fixer-upper, a damage control power, a feel good warm fuzzy, a healer of disease,  and did not get what they wanted.  I get that.  I was there.  Then I decided I needed to read about what Jesus said and did with his own life.  I found that a lot of what I read had little to do with what I wanted but more on what I needed.  Since I was selfish and focused on me, I wanted a Jesus who would handle the messiness of such a life.  He did not.  He talked about letting go of self, surrendering, not being the center of my world, loving rather than judging, accepting rather than manipulating, listen rather than talk, and such stuff that I did not really want to do.  But when things got low enough, bottomed out, I backed into what he suggested.  I had little choice.  My ways did not work.  I still have to work at the world not being all about me.  And stop blaming.