Self-Talk

 It is a grace, a spiritual help, that when I am in "self-talk" I suddenly awaken to the question, "With whom am I talking?"  Sometimes it is a dead person.  I am giving them dialogue, my self-talk script, and I am answering them or noticing feelings when they speak my script.  Whatever the relationship was when we were in real-time existence, or before they died, it is the same in self-talk.  In my script they don't change.  Nor do I.  Just keep reliving the same old stuff.  Once I admit this in self reflection, then God can get involved and bring me to the real present moment and my feelings about the past being relived in the present.  Sometimes, self-talk is a fantasy about a different life in the past, the near or far past.  The real past is not enough for me, so I have to recreate something more interesting and more successful for my ego, damaged ego, that is.  Meditation keeps me in the real, and the present time.