Sunday, August 25, 2013
Sobriety Time
This is for addicts, so the rest of you can skip it if you like. Those in recovery refer to yesterday's blog. Now, the person with 30 years sobriety is not necessarily better than or more deserving of something, than the person with a few months. You both get sobriety. You stay sober. Time, in itself, does not guarantee more. The person with 30 years could be closer to their next relapse than the person with a few months. What we often lose at 30 years is "desperation." Think of being on a cliff. You may be used to being on the cliff or forgot that you are on a cliff. Addicts are excellent at forgetting. You can do many things on a cliff because of your constant efforts at recovery. But you are still on a cliff. Personally, I like a little desperation in my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I remember hitting a horrendous emotional bottom at 12 clean. I had barely survived a 2yr. relationship with a newcomer. (why did I think someone who cannot love themselves, would be able to love me? .Talk about forgetting. I remember when I met him, I called my sponsor's sponsor, Pat P. from Santa Cruz to co-sign it. She said your gonna do what your gonna do, just remember not to take anything when you hit the floor. It won't be that newcomer pickin up the pricetag. 2 yrs. later , that pricetag almost killed me. I called Pat P. snivelling, Why ain't I better? How could I do that to myself? I've worked the steps ,sponsored woman, H&I, I mean I'm almost the queen of NA. Pat lovingly said, (in that born in the Mission Disrict, dopefiend whore kind of way " Babey, you, we, have a didease that is progressive, it get's worse even when we ain't taken anything. You gotta grow spiritually progessively, just to stay neck in neck with that "Mother- fucka" I laughed , she was so on the money. God saw me coming from a long way off.... went to a retreat that taught me about resting in God, letting go of thought, returning gently to the sacred word, and consenting to His action and Presence within. (twice a day for 20 min,) How did I miss that the 11th step said sought thru prayer and MEDITATION. Became part of the 12-step outreach. It worked because it was simple. But for the grace of God , He keeps calling my name.
ReplyDeleteI remember hitting a horrendous emotional bottom at 12 clean. I had barely survived a 2yr. relationship with a newcomer. (why did I think someone who cannot love themselves, would be able to love me? .Talk about forgetting. I remember when I met him, I called my sponsor's sponsor, Pat P. from Santa Cruz to co-sign it. She said your gonna do what your gonna do, just remember not to take anything when you hit the floor. It won't be that newcomer pickin up the pricetag. 2 yrs. later , that pricetag almost killed me. I called Pat P. snivelling, Why ain't I better? How could I do that to myself? I've worked the steps ,sponsored woman, H&I, I mean I'm almost the queen of NA. Pat lovingly said, (in that born in the Mission Disrict, dopefiend whore kind of way " Babey, you, we, have a didease that is progressive, it get's worse even when we ain't taken anything. You gotta grow spiritually progessively, just to stay neck in neck with that "Mother- fucka" I laughed , she was so on the money. God saw me coming from a long way off.... went to a retreat that taught me about resting in God, letting go of thought, returning gently to the sacred word, and consenting to His action and Presence within. (twice a day for 20 min,) How did I miss that the 11th step said sought thru prayer and MEDITATION. Became part of the 12-step outreach. It worked because it was simple. But for the grace of God , He keeps calling my name.
ReplyDelete