Change

It is easy for the monastery to become simply a change of address.  That is what it was when I summered here for the past 17 summers.  But I am staying longer now and I want it to be more than a change of address.  If I run back to Boulder for this and that, or live a somewhat similar pace of life here as anywhere else, then the only change is my address.  So I find myself eliminating a lot of my "internet time."  At first, I was weary of missing something.  But I have come to realize that I am not in a monastery to stay informed about the world out there.  Most of it I do not need to know being in a monastery.  Nor do I have to act right away because someone wants something.  Nor do I need to be anywhere near the center of any attention.  It seems silly, if not a lie, to talk about things I do not much practice, like silence and solitude.  I am not here to get away, or to escape, or to be safe.  I am here because I think that this is where God wants me now for whatever reason.  It is still summer so I have not been stretched in terms of time at the monastery, but I have been stretched as to what I do with the time I now have on a daily basis.  These are waters upon which I have not yet sailed.