Monday, April 2, 2018


Now Judas did commit suicide and we did not hear much about him after that.  No one gave him a nice funeral, saying wonderful things about him, but avoiding how he died.  Suicide is in part an attempt at control.  You see your life spiraling out of control, going nowhere good, full of pain and misery, hopeless, and you choose to end it in a certain way and at a certain time.  Control becomes the key to your escape.  Is it a form of cowardice or weakness?  Some people are suffering terrible lives of misery and destitution, even slavery, and they fight to stay alive.  You read about it in Holocaust, and Gulag prison work.  They become "successes" or "survivors."  Different people make different responses to the same or different circumstances.  So I am no one to make a judgment about anyone's suicide.  A person might be crazed with pain of one sort or another.  But a common aspect of most suicides is that it is done by a person who feels alone, or is alone.  That is why I think community is vital.  I need community so that I do not come up with dead end solutions to my problems.  I can be in a group of people, but if I am not honest about me in the here and now, that is not community that will sustain me.  This is why I admire recovery programs.  People gave up trying to control their alcohol consumption.  Life came after giving up control and getting honest with a group that accepts you.  Judas might have had a life if he had found "Betrayers Anonymous."  Anyhow, my God still loves Judas.

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