Stranger To Grace

At times, I am a strange to grace.  I get annoyed when I have a feeling or am in a situation that gives me discomfort.  The discomfort arises bacause whatever is going on does not lead to immediate gratification. If you are hungover and have a drink, it leads to immediate gratification.  The discomfort begins to lift.  But you will be a stranger to grace. You will get drunk again.  If you did not have that drink, but stopped all drinking, you would continue with some or a lot of discomfort, but you would be on the road to freedom from hangovers and possibly addiction, which is the grace of sobriety.  Grace is a power to do something for you that you cannot do for yourself left to your own will-power.  Say you are lost on a trip and cannot find your way.  You whine, complain, cry, curse God, and so on.  You remain lost and uncomfortable.  No gratification.  You are a stranger to grace.  Then you ask for help.  Help comes.  You are back on the path of grace.  I am always a stranger to grace when my character defects rule my life.  No solutions there.  No gratification.  Only discomfort.  I am listening to "Air Supply" on my Bose.  Immediate gratification!