Office Clerk

 When my prayer practice drops off, is neglected, or skipped, I tend to become the “office clerk” priest.  I get a lot of stuff done, but the priority list is off-kilter.  I do things to make me feel better, to satisfy the ego, to be busy, so that I don’t have to look at how shallow I have become.  Without a goodly amount of meditation time, letting go of agenda thoughts, fantasy, resentment or fear, I tend to lose a grip on priorities.  The ego says, “wow, look at all we did!”  But it does not feed the inner me, the space in my heart.  I have de-coupled from my Higher Power, my God.  The really important things get out of focus or simply covered up with activity and busyness.  There is nothing wrong with being an office clerk if you are an office clerk, or getting some practical things fixed, done, filed and so on.  But without meditation I become out of balance.