Presence And Absence

 The presence of absence is not the absence of presence, so I have heard said.  The early enthusiasm for prayer, at a young age, can easily dry up.  So much for the spirtual life.  The world seems to go on pretty much the same with or without my prayer.  But all this early life prayer was really all about the self.  All about ME prayer.  When one starts up again in more mature years, generally  one has times when God, whoever, is absent.  “I feel nothing,” or “Nothing is changing.”  Still all about me.  But maybe God is trying to get you to stop being all about you, your desire for “holy” feelings, or success in “contacting” God through your own methods and efforts.  When you were younger, there seemed to be lots of light in prayer.  Now there is lots of darkness. Trust it.  God is present in the absence.  It is the way God wants to be with you if you seek maturity and depth in prayer and the spiritual life.  Patience. Trust.  God is not giving you solace here, but rather energy.  For what? Being of service to others.  Get out of yourself.