The Beloved

 We will never surrender to God until God becomes the beloved.  As long as the ego gets in the way, we are our own beloved.  I have seen where people in recovery will “surrender” to their Higher Power, but it is more because they are so miserable with their shallow or empty heart.  In time, they feel better from the steps and program.  The surrender slips away.  The need is not so great.  Indifference edges into their life.  But if the conversion goes deep enough with daily meditation, there will be further conversions and God will become the Beloved.  It is a conversion of deep interior desire.  We empty ourselves.  Yes, there may be blah days of prayer, boredom, but this is just to test our surrender, to steel our resolve to pray.  We will more likely be able then to do active things, helpful to others without wanting or receiving any recognition.  You become the anonymous beloved of those you serve.