If God does really exist, but you have trouble believing in God, why not try talking to God even if you don't know or believe. If God exists, let God do the heavy lifting. Seem strange? Strange can be a good concept in the beginning. You and God are strangers at this point. We are strangers with people when we first meet them, but for some reason we want to get on better with such person. Friendship takes time, and some effort on our part. Show up each day and talk to the your strange God. How is this all going to work out to become a relationship, a friendship? Don't fret. That is God's job, as long as you show up. God will become who God wants to be for you. It does not have to be religious or universal or anything but your God. If God wants to connect you to some long established path, that is between you and God. Don't get ahead of yourself. Show up and chat. In time you may even decide to be quiet and listen. That is friendship evolving.