Sunday, February 5, 2017

Falling In Love

I first saw her as she was coming down the escalator into the car showroom of the Ford Pavilion.  It was the 1964 World's Fair, in New York City.  Until that moment I was showing people the new Ford Mustang or talking about other cars on display or just watching people. But once I saw her I was in love.  I did not know I was in love.  I knew I was wondering if I would ever get to meet her, or where was she in the room.  Suddenly, she was here in front of me.  I was 21, a college Junior, Jesuit educated, an English Major, and I was making a terrible mess of introducing myself through talking about the Ford Mustang.  Her name was Carol.  She worked at a nearby pavilion.  We made plans to meet, I thought.  It went badly.  I felt ignored.  I ignored back and the summer pretty much went by without Carol in my life, though she had space in my heart.  Then there was an apartment party with various World's Fair workers.  Carol was there.  I ignored her, but I always seemed to know where she was.  Out of the blue, said, "Terry, could you help me to find my coat."  She remembered my name?  Girls are mysterious.  That led to walking around the block in Manhattan over and over again that night as we found out there had been a miscomunication earlier in the summer.  Why do people do this to one another?  In matters of the heart nothing is simple and feelings run deep.  We think one thing, and act accordingly, while the reality is quite different.  We kissed for the first time at the end of the night.  The first kiss, when in love, is memorable, never forgotten.  Eventually, my heart would be broken.  It is a price that is sometimes paid for a deep love.  But such love feeds the soul.  The Real was peeking at me through Carol.  She has left, though etched in my heart.  The Real, the Divine, my God has stayed, to teach me love through the pain and joy of relationship, mystical and physical.  For me, deep prayer is the kiss of the Spirit.  Friendship is the way I daily try and live out this inner touch.  On my falling in love days with God I think God thoughts much of the day.  Just like I did with Carol.  Right now I guess I am having Carol thoughts.  Move over God! Oops!  That would be bad.

1 comment:

  1. What a gift to recognize the Real peaking out through Carol. How old were you when this lovely dawning came to you?

    Love your posts!!