Normal Zone

What is normal for me?  When I say my day is "normal" what does this mean?  I have come to realize it means my day has in it only those things I can control.  it seems I allow into my life on a regular basis, only those things that are under my control.  If I cannot control something, then it is not going to get into my life on any regular basis.  The things that bring fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, whining and so on, are "beyond normal."  They are abnormal and judged as such.  OMG!  I am a control freak.  I get stressed at the thought, much less the actual event, of something new or unusual.  I may really enjoy the new, when it occurs, but I go into it with apprehension.  My thinking is, "If it is not the norm, something will go wrong."  The madness of Love and falling in love, is what gets us to go in new direction with a new person.  Marriage? Yikes!  You have to be in love to do that.  Sometimes, when we look back on something that we did, we say, "What was I thinking?"  Not much, I suspect.  It was feelings that energized you to take a leap.  On the other hand, if you are fear based like me, too much thinking will only get you stuck.  For me, feelings have a place.  Some of the best things I did were when I said, "It just feels right."  It works for me when I have a spiritual connection.  My brain is somewhat more broken than my heart.  But I am an Aries.  Fire sign.