Unloving Me

Sometimes I seem to be so unloving.  I just don’t have it that day.  I am full of self.  What to do?  I ask God to make me more loving, but seem to fall back into the same old, same old.  Good Grief says Charlie Brown.  But I have learned that there is another way.  I ask God to love through me.  My Higher Power is Love, or so I see it.  At his moment I lack the Power to love, but God is Love.  So I ask my God to love through me.  Use me to be loving.  I seem to have the character defect some days, of not being able to love on my own.  Anxious, fearful, self-pitying can do that.  But God is a power beyond my own self, and for that matter, within my fearful self.  So I call upon this power in prayer and meditation.  Then I go about being useful.  Some days this is a real miracle.