A Wedding Homily On Feast of Most Holy Trinity
One of the bridesmaids wore a tuxedo. The bride had tattoos. This is all new to me. My first thought? “This is an abomination, an outrage!” But I have learned in my spiritual practice to ignore first thoughts. You cannot control them nor are you responsible for them. Pause. Don’t act on first thought energy. What happens next? Space for Grace. That pause is the space and grace then goes to work. My catholicity enters. Catholic with a small “c” means all, as in everyone. Jesus came to save all people, not just Jewish men. Catholic is not a “gated” faith. You can live in a gated community where you feel safe, secure, and correct, because everyone else is just like you. But you cannot have a Catholic gated faith. In Caholic we are all one but not all the same. The many differences are what make us the best we can be as church.
But you need to go beyond acceptance of differences. An atheist can practice acceptance, and they do. Catholic needs to go into the realm of love, that is, Oneing with others. Work at becoming one. How? Think of salt. Salt brings out the flavor of whatever it salts, but salt stays salt. We need to enter into connections with others such that our presence, our love, compassion, care, salts them, so that these other people become the best that God made them to be. They don’t become more like me nor I more like them. We become who God made us to be. Differences in unity.
The Trinity is One God but manifested in three diverse ways. God is always relational in Love. God is Love. This couple today are diverse, but together as one couple they will become holy through and with one another. But what if first thoughts ruled their lives? What if when Hector met Katie, he saw freckles, for she is Irish. What if his first thought is “Freckles! An abomination.” He would be the loser if he walked away.
And what if when Spring came and Katie put on a sun dress and Hector saw a tattoo, and said, “Oh no! My mother will never accept her.” And so on. But Katie is not marrying his mother. So first thoughts did not rule in his encounter with Katie.
And when Katie found out the limo bus that brought all the male wedding party members to church had gone off without bringing the women, including her, what if her first thought was, “Oh no! Disaster. A sign from God that this wedding is not meant to be. Hector is all wrong for me.” She did not let such a thought rule her decision to marry though the wedding did start later than planned.
Hector and Katie will now work on becoming one while still being uniquely gifted people. They bring diversity to the relationship and mix it all with love, compassion, being good listeners, and becoming all God meant them to be. For unless we become one we will become none.