There is a bible story in which the guys who were supposed to be followers of Jesus got into a boat without him, to go across a big lake. They get a few miles out and big winds come up, waves wash over the sides of the boat, and they are rowing like crazy, full of fear. Jesus comes along walking on water and the guys freak out. Jesus says, “Don’t be afraid. It is I.” They want to pull him into the boat to get rid of their fear of drowning. Jesus never gets into the boat. Suddenly, they come to shore. The point? Fear may get you to your destination, but it won’t bring about intimacy. When prayer is a trying to grab onto God or your Power to get something, you may get it. But only trust and surrender will bring intimacy, a sense of union and Love. I can spend most of my spiritual life trying to get somewhere, and then wonder why I am still lonely. Surrender for me would be like walking on water. I need help for that.
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