Thursday, October 31, 2013
Some time ago, I was going to a counseling center and a woman had an appointment about the same time as mine for awhile. She sat in the waiting area with a motorcycle helmut on and the visor down over her face. I thought, "What a strange person. She needs some help!" Mind you, I am in the same counseling center waiting to see a counselor. In my judgment she is so much worse than me. I slip into this mode from time to time when I run across a person sleeping on the street or shouting out at no one in particular, using a lot of curse words. "Thank God I am not like so and so." I think that I am not like the religious official about whom Jesus speaks in a parable. That official stands in the front of the temple, apart from others, and thanks God that he is not like the sinner in the back of the temple. In my delusions I think that I am like the tax collector guy in the back who is asking God for mercy. He is truly sorry and repentant. He knows that it is only God's mercy that can help him. He has no real power in himself to change. When I say I am sorry or ask for mercy, it is usually because I am feeling guilty, or ashamed of some bad behavior recently done. It is more about me wanting to feel better rather than being sorry for offending God.